Our birth story

So here’s some tea,

Our birth story

Funny thing I never thought to write about it because it was so fast that no one would want to hear about it. I’m not saying that in the form of bragging because if you’ve gone through childbirth you know what I mean, it’s just this story is not a chair gripping tale.

My due date was the 12th of August 2017, I already knew she wasn’t going to stay in there until then, let’s just say mothers intuition. I tried several natural ways to help the process along which means a lot of sex, red raspberry leaf tea, squats and evening primrose.

By the evening of August 7th, I was a miserable mess and my back was on fire. I was so uncomfortable that I didn’t even have the strength to walk down the street to meet my boyfriend at our friends house.

So when midnight hit I noticed that I was having irregular contractions (they didn’t hurt at this point) and we ended up meeting my Midwife at the hospital.

Unfortunately due to the irregularities in the contractions and the fact that of only being 1cm, we were sent back home. The rest of the night/early morning I was in and out of the bath tub. Being in the bath tub helped the piercing back pain; I could of stayed in there all night to be honest I didn’t want to leave.

By 8 am I headed back to the washroom this time to relieve myself (thank goodness, I didn’t want to poop giving birth) as I was wiping I noticed my mucus plug ended up coming out as well. Perfffecttttt! I knew that meant labour is starting and it’s about to get real. In a matter of moments while walking back from the washroom my water broke. Yellowy liquid everywhere … strange I always thought it was clear but little did I know that meant something else.

I ended up waking my boyfriend up and said my water broke!

“so is it time?” He unenthusiastically grunted. To be honest I thought I would just a more dramatic movie scene reaction of a father to be in panic… nope. Better luck next time!

I told him I had to call my Midwife so that’s exactly what I did. I called my midwife and she was a little saucy too to be honest. You can only imagine how unimpressed I am at this point. Due to the colour of my water (which was light yellow) she was convinced I peed myself.

*Eye roll* like I just came from the washroom and plus I’d know if I peed, this was a different kind of release of pressure. Whatever, my contractions were also close enough that she agreed to meet at the hospital.

At 9:30 am we were walking in the hospital and trust me I looked like Quasimodo from the hunchback of Notre Dame walking through the lobby but I refused any and all wheelchairs. Everyone looking at me concerned but.. I knew walking would help labour, so I’ll walk to that damn delivery room even if I was shrieking in pain.

Once I was in the room they discovered the reason why my water was yellow. Not because I peed myself but because Olessia had pooped in the womb. A Paediatrician was on call but no one let me think I should worry. Therefore I wasn’t worried just in pain at this point. It all happened so fast that even thought of an epidural was out of the question. I arrived at the hospital at 4 cm went to 7cm in a half and hour and 10cm not too long after.

Time to get that baby out!!!

My boyfriend was holding my legs with a full view of my crotch (poor guy) and my mom was holding my neck (bad work injury screwed up my neck). I kept saying “I can’t do this, I can’t do this” … but my boyfriend kept reassuring me I could.

At some point I had to use leg stirrups to help me but Olessia was stuck between a flap of skin (I don’t know what it’s called) but instead of cutting me another on call midwife came in the room to assist. She had a trick by wiggling Olessia out, by swaying me back and forth while another tried to push aside the skin. It worked! Once her head was passed that point she slide out like butter (sorry for the visual)

This all happened within 7 minutes. 7 minutes of pushing and our little angel was born. I remember my Midwife asked me if I wanted to feel her hair while she was coming out and I look back now and I wish I did but at the time I’m like no I’m good let’s get her out!

After the Midwife and Paediatrician cleared her and made sure there was no poop in her lung she was all ours. I made my boyfriend do skin to skin right away while I delivered the placenta. The Midwife was so amazed of how healthy my placenta was. We thought it was strange because we had no idea of how amazing it actually was. Another thing I wish I did was make pills out of my placenta. May sound gross to some but it has so many benefits as well as it could of helped with a faster recovery.

By the time I got to the hospital at 9:30am to the 12:55pm on August 8th when she was born, was the most pain I’ve ever been in. Unmedicated, raw and fast are three ways to describe my first experience of childbirth. I didn’t realize how strong I was until I gave birth.

If you ask me would I do it all again, I would in a heartbeat and unmedicated too!

What are three words to describe your childbirth experience?!

Mom Fail Fridays – Mombie life

So here’s some tea,

As summer is ending; here comes autumn. It has to be my favourite time of the year. Everything starts to cool off with orange and red accents everywhere. Yes I’m basic but hand me a pumpkin spiced anything and I’m a happy girl. With my little one old enough to enjoy fall activities I’m beyond excited.

What will her costume be? What should I be for Halloween? Maybe a zombie? Because that’s how I’m feeling nowadays. Today’s version of mom fail friday is two “mombie” fails.

Mine – 1 little girl

My little one recently has been very restless in the middle of the night. Thank you teething… *eye roll*

So the other night around 3 am, her restlessness woke me up. I was half asleep, I touched her butt and it was wet. I didn’t even look at my hand I just wipe it on my shirt then proceeded to change her diaper. In my groggy state I looked down at my shirt …. poop. Seriously! Once I changed her and got her back to sleep, I went toss her diaper in the genie. Somehow someway my hand met poop once again. Ughhhhh clearly I need to toss my glasses on when it comes to diaper changes at night.

A friend of mines story – 2 little girls

“My little one woke up at 6 am. Typically I give her a bottle and she goes back to sleep . I try not to turn on a a lot of lights otherwise she’ll be up for good … I poured her milk into the bottle from her thermos . Everything was perfect ! I put her to lay down and gave her the bottle like every other night/ morning …..

Buuuut realized super quickly that my little one was soaked ! This mama was so tired and I forgot to put the stupid lid on the bottle . I knew right then and there this wasn’t going to go well.

The funniest thing was her response . I had to walk away to go get another bottle and clothes & whatnot . Usually she cries but she just looked at me like what in the entire fuck just happened ?!?! Even when I was changing her , she was looking deep into my soul like “ mom , get your shit together “

Have you ever been half asleep and had a mom fail?!

xo

Women empowerment – next generation

So here’s some tea,

I’m a girl mom, that phrase shouldn’t make you think of tutus and headbands (which I might add are super cute) but it should make you think of the next kick ass generation of women.

As a mom of a little girl, I’m determined to teach her the significance and importance to raise your fellow females up. Sadly in many cultures the odds are stacked against us as women from the day we are born. I want to be able to teach my daughter to rise above the obstacles that she’ll inevitably face as a woman, if it’s in terms of a job, society and even in relationships.

Why is raising a strong, smart and powerful woman so important to me? because women like that is what this world needs.

I told someone that I let my daughter be free and as crazy as she wants to be. She’s too young to do otherwise but she already has so much personality that the last thing I want to do is hinder it.

The person responded back “ You don’t hear that from many mothers often, about letting their child be wild and free”

That was how I was raised and I’m going to pass that down to my daughter. My mother has always let me be me. I use to paint cartoons on my walls and dance in the rain to Mariah Carey as if I was in some mtv music video! I even had a constant mess of books about Egypt and projects because it was my dream to be an Egyptologist (yeah clearly that didn’t happen)

I have and always will be an oddly strange wildflower in a wide open field waiting for a Dixie chick song to come on.

Remarkably that dynamic and the complete transparency with my mother allowed us to have a friendship, where her opinion matters to me rather then feeling like it was parental judgement.

Women in general are mean though, and not because we are born like that but it’s because we are taught to be. The insane idea of constantly being in this survival mode and to compete with one another is absurd. If it’s not slut shaming or body shaming, it’s belittling each other. I see it everyday if it’s not in social media it’s in our everyday lives. We all know someone right now who is tearing another girl down to satisfy her own insecurities. It’s disgusting, where is the sisterhood at?

Remember this isn’t hunger games ladies, relax. Just because you personally wouldn’t wear that or say that or even do that doesn’t make you any better of a person and them any less. I want my daughter to know when another woman falls, you give her a hand up. And when a woman finds success and happiness you in turn be happy for her. Its a feather in all of our caps as women. This world needs good people and especially good women remember that.

It’s also nice to see in the media today that there is more positive and diverse role models for little girls. I want Olessia to be comfortable in her own skin, and that any new or old societal pressures to be a certain way doesn’t hinder from the extraordinary woman she is and will become. Women are phenomenal so let’s raise the next generation of women to appreciate, support, love, assist and in all respect one other because it all starts with us.

END GIRL HATE!

Mom Fail Fridays – She’ll do it without a diaper.

So here’s some tea,

Oh diaper changes! Is it me or are they becoming worse the older your baby gets? I miss the days when my precious little baby would lay there awaiting for her bum to be changed. Now it’s like trying to tame a Tasmanian devil, who is flipping and squirming to get free. Sad to say but it has officially turned into a game and I’m always the loser. I’m convinced she’s like “Let’s see how frustrated momma will get before she has to strap me down”

(Baby powder everywhere like normal)

It has come to a point where the changing table is no longer used. The new designated diaper station is our bed or the floor.

Enough rambling and let’s get to my fail of this week. The past week Olessia has been fighting a little diaper rash. All four of her pesky molars have erupted as well so she’s kind of been a mess.

After diaper changes I’ve been letting her bum air dry, let’s just say she’s taking full advantage of that. I’m not talking about pee everywhere, oh how I wish it was. My little nudist walked over to me, made eye contact and began to explode.. all over the floor. Yes that’s right poop, everywhere. All I could think was really you have to look me dead in the eye to do this!

Once … okay I understand, maybe the cool breeze against your tush feels nice. Twice, now you’re pushing it but three times. I can’t blame anyone but myself now. You’d think I’d learn after the first time! You also might think she’s eating solids, it’s a quick pick up stop whining. Think again it’s teething poop which means a watery clumpy mess.

Nothing like cleaning poop off your hardwood floors several times a week then having to sanitize! Note to self always keep a diaper in your back pocket.

I never thought I would talk about human excrements as much as I do. Welcome to motherhood!

I know I’m not the only mom out here dealing with a stinky little tushy! Don’t be embarrassed it’s all for shits and giggles.

Xo

Judgement free zone – Mommy shame

So here’s some tea,

We’ve all dealt with some sort of mommy shade or shame, from the day we found out we were pregnant to the rearing of our little ones. It’s enviable, it will happen if you like it or not. Trust me I wish it wouldn’t happen. It would be nice if as parents, grandparents and damn well as human beings we can refrain from sticking our judgey nose in other people’s life choices.

I’ve experienced shade throughout my pregnancy even till now. Oh man, the day everyone found out we were having a girl. Is it me or do you notice a difference of people’s excitement for you depending on the gender?

As a female myself I can say without a doubt girls rock! Eh okay maybe not every aspect of it but in general we are pretty bad ass. And Yes we probably will try for a boy eventually but if we have another girl yay! Glitter parties all around.

Having a daughter is a blessing, so don’t you ever disregard my little warrior princess she will do amazing things. And for those who have a misogynistic and sexist view of having a male heir to pass the family name on; chill out. We aren’t royalty my daughter will do the name proud (clearly I’m passionate about it)

A few subjects I’ve recently talked about were postpartum bodies, breastfeeding and cosleeping. You don’t understand the amount of judgement that is tagged along with pretty much all of them.

“you’re going to have a mom bod”

Well no guff but there’s nothing negative about that. I don’t look like a swimsuit model and I don’t plan to. I’m comfortable with how I look and my man doesn’t mind the sight either, so I’m golden Pony-boy. If you don’t want to look at my saggy boobs and stretchy tummy in a bikini don’t look because I’m about to bay watch in this place (cue slow motion)

“You’re still breastfeeding ?”

“How long do you plan to breastfeed?”

“You want to self wean? Why? “

“Formula fed? really you couldn’t breastfed?”

“It’s more healthier to breastfed”

Okay first off I was a formula baby and my daughter is a breast milk baby. We are both more than fine and healthy. Which ever you choose you know best for your child. Breastfeeding is not only physical but emotional. Many things can hinder lactation. Therefore, when some moms can’t produce there is a lot more going on than you think so hush and please don’t judge. This isn’t a competition of which is the best, do what’s best for you and your baby! Forget the rest.

Cosleeping and raising your little one is where I’m at today. My daughter sleeps in her crib attached to our bed. If you don’t like that then that’s fine, you aren’t sleeping there so it’s not your concern. Raising your little one and disclipne is new to me. This is my first baby so I’m figuring it out as I go but she’s young and doesn’t quite understand “no” yet without giggling.

I still get those judgey looks in the supermarket when she’s gets fussy or the turned up faces when she gets her way. It’s funny because it’s always the ones without children or elderly people that have an issue. It makes me laugh though when you pass another mom and their child is being just as loud. You end up making eye contact with each other and a smirk as some sort of solidarity of the struggles of parenthood.

Moms stop judging each other, we are all trying to figure it out.

Everyone else piss off please 🙂

#judgementfreezone

Babies & their milestones

So here’s some tea,

The years you spend focusing on yourself are long gone and the main event is the creature you created. Being a mom isn’t for the faint hearted, It’s more than just making sure everyone is clean and fed.

You constantly worry about if your child is hitting their development milestones required for his or her age group. Trust me since the day Olessia was born, it has been on my mind constantly.

Luckily Olessia was one of those babies that sped through her milestones early on from rolling over to crawling. She even had a good set of teeth by 8 months.

When people say they’re jealous I just laugh. Trust me having a baby with all those teeth isn’t fun. I say it all the time, if you got bit by this barracuda on the nipple you’d think differently.

The one thing I worried about was her waving ‘hi and bye’ which is stated should happen at the 10 month mark. Olessia didn’t seem to care about waving. Instead she rather you call her cute and wave at her. Eventually she started to wave (she’s out here looking like Queen Victoria) but she doesn’t wave very often. I thought since she did everything fast, that motor skill would come quick too. It didn’t but it did ended up coming right on schedule.

( one of the milestone chart I’ve referred too)

Every child is different, they progress at different rates and eventually they will get to the stage they need to get to.

Olessia just started taking her first steps the other day. Every day is another step which makes me cry! She’s no longer my little baby she’s becoming a toddler right before my eyes. Eh some babies walk early or later on, it’s hard to tell but there is nothing wrong with that.

One thing that bugs me is that everyone compares kids. ‘My son already is walking, my daughter is saying more words’. Congradufuckinglations this isn’t the Miss Congeniality pageant for babies. The best baby doesn’t take home a golden bottle and a cash prize of a college tuition. It’s okay for your baby to take their time developing and it’s okay if they’re fast too, it doesn’t change anything. If you’re bragging about your baby to make someone else feel bad about their own kid; you suck! That negativity isn’t welcome in our hood… motherhood!

Remember developing is hard on babies and it can cause sleepless nights when they’ve discovered something new. If you’re worried about your little ones development or something seems off, seek a medical professional. You know your little one best !

Xo

Letter to my daughter- He’s the father I never had

Dear Olessia,

One day you’ll be big enough to realize that your father would give you nothing less than the world. Since the day you were born a light has been lit in him that I’ve never seen before. I watched a man become a father. He fell in love with a girl and that girl was you.

When you’re three, pull out a chair and invite him for tea parties. He’s been waiting for them ever since he found out about you. I never had that…

When you’re five, ask him to walk you to school. His hand might be big and a bit rough but hold on tight, his grasp is the safest place I know. I never had that….

When you’re ten and someone is mean to you, talk to him. He has the best shoulders lean on and he has great advice. I never had that…

When you’re twelve and you get your first period it’s okay; send him to go get you pads. Trust me he knows what they are and he’s not grossed out by it. I never had that…

When you’re sixteen and he spoils you for your birthday. Be grateful my dear he works hard to make sure you’re taken care of. He loves you more than you know. I never had that…. (I actually got a late text saying he forgot about my birthday)

When you’re eighteen and you’re headed off to college. Call him once in a while, even just to say hello. There’s no voice he’s love to hear more than yours. I never had that….

When you’re twenty and you think you’re a grown woman don’t forget you’ll always be his little girl. I never had that….

I have never felt a father’s love like that. I felt neglected, betrayal and disappointment all my life. I was a girl seeking a father’s love that was unattainable. Your father my dear is the opposite. You will always be his top priority and the best thing he’s ever done in this world. So my dear love him, cherish and respect him. He’s a good one … I never had that.

Xo

Baby number two?

So here’s some tea,

In the past few months I’ve had a serious fever, baby fever. It could be the fact my little one is growing up so fast and I want her to have a sibling. Or many of my mommy friends are about to pop out another one. Baby fomo, is that a thing?

Many of them were trying and some came as a sweet surprise. It makes me wonder when it’s the right time for us to have another.

If you’ve read some of my blogs, you know I’m an avid googler and I look up everything. Several internet mommies stated to wait at least 18 months then begin to try again. Which gives your body enough time to properly heal and for you adjust to motherhood. That’s fine and dandy for some but many love children close in age, which is just as awesome. Whichever you choose you make it work. Ive always wanted Olessia to have a partner in crime to take over the world with.. but what’s a good age gap?

I personally like the idea of my daughter being two years old and out of diapers before the other one arrives. That being said questions circulate in my mind as if we are ready.

How would Olessia feel sharing the attention?

Will Olessia feel neglected?

Will I be able to handle two with my boyfriend at work?

Should I work for a while before trying for another one?

How will I heal the second time around?

The uncertainty is real! Some days I believe I can handle two no problem and there are others like today where I’m so exhausted and can’t wait for bed time. Believe me when I say one baby screaming at you is hard enough. Big up to the mommas out there who have multiples or Irish twins. You’re the real ones!

I go back and forth all day long thinking about how it will affect my little one. I love my daughter and my attention is all hers. I know she loves kids and will welcome a sibling no problem but am I taking away her ‘mommy and me’ alone time too soon.

Also I’m not scared of the pregnancy aspect (which I disliked with my first) I’m quite looking forward to end result a beautiful little terror. Hopefully pregnancy would be easier this time around but I’m scared of the healing. It took me so long to finally heal, will the second be just as bad or easier? I know I’m rambling but come on, you have to admit this is a big decision to electively decide to try for another little stinker.

Don’t get me started on working though, I have an opportunity to work but I’m nervous. I don’t want to send her to daycare, I want to take care of her during these tender years but I also don’t want the financial burden on just my boyfriend. He assures me it’s fine but I’m not the type to let a man just bring home the bacon, I need to bring home some eggs and toast too! He did make a valid point though, daycare is so expensive I’d be just working to pay for it and there’s really no point. It’s sad but that’s our reality. Therefore work is up in the air right now.

Ugh the guilt that comes with making such a big decision. If you are wondering why I’m thinking so much about it, Aunt Flo has came back. After 10 months of breastfeeding with no period, it’s back. *Cue the violins* I was really loving wearing white without the sheer anxiety of looking at my butt ‘just to make sure’. Also that means no more pulling the goalie. If we are going to wait and go back to work we’d have to be cautious.

I love my little family and I’d loved another baby but coming to a decision try for another has a lot more variables than I thought.

Any moms out there expecting their second? What’s the age gap and when do you know you’re ready?

I’d love to hear for you xo