Food for thought… working mom? stay at home mom?

So here’s some tea,

A lot of women are tore between a career and motherhood. Society makes us feel like we can’t have it both ways. I know very successful women who have children and are striving in the professional world. It is hard to put a price on missing moments though. As a SAHM ( stay at home mom) right now considering heading back into the workforce thats my biggest hurdle; missing moments with my daughter. Which I know is silly but as a mom you are constantly in your head wondering how and if your decisions are benefiting your children’s life in a positive way.

Eventually I will go back to work, not because I feel like I have to but because once my daughter is in school there is nothing keeping me behind the walls of our family home. I have a degree and to be honest it would be nice to put it to some use. In addition I’ve spoken to many moms and they want their freedom. Hold up; it’s not in a bad way but they want the financial freedom to go out shopping and not worrying about the impending mortgage or bills. The freedom to create something all their own. Motherhood is hard enough but we do lose ourselves. I’ve been trying to stay consistent with my blog but as first time mom of a toddler, its draining.

I want to have an answer for people who ask me “what do I like to do other than being a mom?”

… I’m loss for words

Well I do like writing and I’m teaching myself to sew but it never feels like enough. I have so many ideas in my head that I am my own road block when it comes to achieving them.

I’m a creative person; I like to brainstorm, research and create but what should I create? Where do I start?

I want my daughter to be proud of her mother. I want her to know when it’s her time for her own family that she can have it both ways. No matter if it’s creating something all her own or trailblazer in the business world.

Some women are drawn to their callings in life, May that be a career or a SAHM but never feel like you have to limit yourself to either category. There is a million of subcategories that you can venture into and there is nothing wrong with wanting more for your family. It’s just food for thought. Women are remarkable, our plates may be full but we always go for seconds.

We are the future …

Our birth story

So here’s some tea,

Our birth story

Funny thing I never thought to write about it because it was so fast that no one would want to hear about it. I’m not saying that in the form of bragging because if you’ve gone through childbirth you know what I mean, it’s just this story is not a chair gripping tale.

My due date was the 12th of August 2017, I already knew she wasn’t going to stay in there until then, let’s just say mothers intuition. I tried several natural ways to help the process along which means a lot of sex, red raspberry leaf tea, squats and evening primrose.

By the evening of August 7th, I was a miserable mess and my back was on fire. I was so uncomfortable that I didn’t even have the strength to walk down the street to meet my boyfriend at our friends house.

So when midnight hit I noticed that I was having irregular contractions (they didn’t hurt at this point) and we ended up meeting my Midwife at the hospital.

Unfortunately due to the irregularities in the contractions and the fact that of only being 1cm, we were sent back home. The rest of the night/early morning I was in and out of the bath tub. Being in the bath tub helped the piercing back pain; I could of stayed in there all night to be honest I didn’t want to leave.

By 8 am I headed back to the washroom this time to relieve myself (thank goodness, I didn’t want to poop giving birth) as I was wiping I noticed my mucus plug ended up coming out as well. Perfffecttttt! I knew that meant labour is starting and it’s about to get real. In a matter of moments while walking back from the washroom my water broke. Yellowy liquid everywhere … strange I always thought it was clear but little did I know that meant something else.

I ended up waking my boyfriend up and said my water broke!

“so is it time?” He unenthusiastically grunted. To be honest I thought I would just a more dramatic movie scene reaction of a father to be in panic… nope. Better luck next time!

I told him I had to call my Midwife so that’s exactly what I did. I called my midwife and she was a little saucy too to be honest. You can only imagine how unimpressed I am at this point. Due to the colour of my water (which was light yellow) she was convinced I peed myself.

*Eye roll* like I just came from the washroom and plus I’d know if I peed, this was a different kind of release of pressure. Whatever, my contractions were also close enough that she agreed to meet at the hospital.

At 9:30 am we were walking in the hospital and trust me I looked like Quasimodo from the hunchback of Notre Dame walking through the lobby but I refused any and all wheelchairs. Everyone looking at me concerned but.. I knew walking would help labour, so I’ll walk to that damn delivery room even if I was shrieking in pain.

Once I was in the room they discovered the reason why my water was yellow. Not because I peed myself but because Olessia had pooped in the womb. A Paediatrician was on call but no one let me think I should worry. Therefore I wasn’t worried just in pain at this point. It all happened so fast that even thought of an epidural was out of the question. I arrived at the hospital at 4 cm went to 7cm in a half and hour and 10cm not too long after.

Time to get that baby out!!!

My boyfriend was holding my legs with a full view of my crotch (poor guy) and my mom was holding my neck (bad work injury screwed up my neck). I kept saying “I can’t do this, I can’t do this” … but my boyfriend kept reassuring me I could.

At some point I had to use leg stirrups to help me but Olessia was stuck between a flap of skin (I don’t know what it’s called) but instead of cutting me another on call midwife came in the room to assist. She had a trick by wiggling Olessia out, by swaying me back and forth while another tried to push aside the skin. It worked! Once her head was passed that point she slide out like butter (sorry for the visual)

This all happened within 7 minutes. 7 minutes of pushing and our little angel was born. I remember my Midwife asked me if I wanted to feel her hair while she was coming out and I look back now and I wish I did but at the time I’m like no I’m good let’s get her out!

After the Midwife and Paediatrician cleared her and made sure there was no poop in her lung she was all ours. I made my boyfriend do skin to skin right away while I delivered the placenta. The Midwife was so amazed of how healthy my placenta was. We thought it was strange because we had no idea of how amazing it actually was. Another thing I wish I did was make pills out of my placenta. May sound gross to some but it has so many benefits as well as it could of helped with a faster recovery.

By the time I got to the hospital at 9:30am to the 12:55pm on August 8th when she was born, was the most pain I’ve ever been in. Unmedicated, raw and fast are three ways to describe my first experience of childbirth. I didn’t realize how strong I was until I gave birth.

If you ask me would I do it all again, I would in a heartbeat and unmedicated too!

What are three words to describe your childbirth experience?!

Shout out to the mamas

Shout out to the mamas:

Who are exhausted

Who need a break

Who stay at home

Who work full time

Who try to do it all

Who get overwhelmed

Who are fighting postpartum depression

Who are trying to find themselves again

Who are single mothers

Who are co-parenting

Who are trying not avoid the mommy shame

Who fail at times

Who have lost all patience

Who are fighting to lose the baby weight

Who are fighting to gain weight

Who are breastfeeding

Who are bottle feeding

Who are struggling

Who have broken down a few times

Who are in need of a girls night out

Who are dying for a good nights sleep

Who are looking for some compassion

Who are looking for some help

Who are just looking for someone to say you’re doing a good job…..

No matter what kind of mama you are, you are appreciated and loved. We love our little ones but that doesn’t mean some days aren’t harder than others. The past few weeks I’ve been having a hard time when it comes to patience. Teething on top of what I can only refer to as ‘the terrible ones?’ (I don’t even know if that’s a thing) but the tantrums are real.

I can admit this mama is exhausted, believe me when I say if you are too you’re not alone we have all been there and it’s a sign you need a break. An hour to yourself just to regain some sanity and focus. I’m thinking about jumping back into yoga, one class a week so mama can unwind, destress and be a better and less tense mama in the long run!

If you’re one of these mamas? Have you taken time to yourself? What do you do?!

Friendships after baby …

So here’s some tea,

Friendships just like relationships go through their bumps and hurdles. One bump in particular is a baby bump. Once you start having babies your friendships change. Especially if your friends aren’t at the baby point in life yet. Which there isn’t anything wrong with that, it’s not for everyone. Plus everyone has their own path and journey in life.

I, myself have never been a big partier. I would make excuses out of going out. Let’s just put it out there once again, I’m a HUGE introvert. So when I announced I was pregnant nothing changed but people’s expectations of me. People thought I should soak up my last moments before I transitioned into motherhood. I thought otherwise, I was constantly sick with my daughter so going out was hard for me. When I say sick I don’t mean one or two times. I mean three or four times a day coming out of my nose type of sick. I was constantly bailing on my friends and I felt that it made an impact on my friendships. Only until I posted a picture people finally saw how frail I was due to the morning sickness and I wasn’t milking it.

Although I was lucky enough to be pregnant around the same time as two of my friends. Therefore as my pregnancy progress they became my “go to” people I texted everyday because they understood. I didn’t feel so alone with them any ache or pain they understood and didn’t judge nor think I was complaining. Not like my other friends thought I was complaining but let’s be real no one really wants to hear that your back is throbbing everyday or your glucose test took forever.

It was eye opening though to see people’s reactions and behaviours after the birth of my daughter. It takes events in life to realize who is there for you and who isn’t. I have a few friends who still haven’t met my daughter or only seen her once. Not because of geography just because they have their own stuff going on. Which no shade or anything like that, I understand but It does hurt a bit.

One thing many people without children don’t realize is late night events aren’t easy for us. I would never say make plans around people with children because that’s ridiculous but don’t get upset if one of us or neither can attend because we have a child. I’m sorry, my daughter still relies on me for bed time plus I don’t expect someone to watch her so I can go out. Maybe when she’s older it’ll be different but not right now.

The dynamic of relationships on any level change when you enter a new phase in your life. As you see the one that took the most hits was my friendships. You learn to accept your relationships for what they are and move forward. I’m still not about to go out drinking or partying anymore but I’m okay with that. My life has steered in a new direction and I’m happy. I appreciate the friends who have stuck by me, who love my daughter like their own, who are abroad but close to our hearts and my new mommy friends.

This wasn’t to throw shade; this was more to shine light that being a mom is hard work and sometimes friendships can be affected by that too.

Mom Fail Fridays – story time from other moms!

So here’s some tea,

It’s Mom Fail Friday and instead of my fails this week I’m going to be posting a few stories some people have sent me!

“ my son has fallen off the bed so many times that we put railings up, you would think that would stop him but no. It was a challenge he graciously accepted. We eventually had to put our bed on floor to refrain from anymore visits to the emergency.”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 1

“ I can not count how many times I’ve taken a piece of dog food out of my daughters mouth. I even make sure the bowl is off the floor before I put her down. Somehow and someway she finds a kibble.”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 2

“Clearly my son watches the dog 2 much. I watched him take his diaper off and proceed to lift his leg to pee on our indoor plant. I stood there for a minute in shock. What is going on in my household!?”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 3

“ my daughter has found a way to take her diaper off. You may think that’s cute and funny until you’re wiping poop off your family room wall”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 1

Kids do the darnedest things

Hope you got a quick giggle! I’d love to hear more, sent away!!!

Xo

Mom Fail Fridays – She’ll do it without a diaper.

So here’s some tea,

Oh diaper changes! Is it me or are they becoming worse the older your baby gets? I miss the days when my precious little baby would lay there awaiting for her bum to be changed. Now it’s like trying to tame a Tasmanian devil, who is flipping and squirming to get free. Sad to say but it has officially turned into a game and I’m always the loser. I’m convinced she’s like “Let’s see how frustrated momma will get before she has to strap me down”

(Baby powder everywhere like normal)

It has come to a point where the changing table is no longer used. The new designated diaper station is our bed or the floor.

Enough rambling and let’s get to my fail of this week. The past week Olessia has been fighting a little diaper rash. All four of her pesky molars have erupted as well so she’s kind of been a mess.

After diaper changes I’ve been letting her bum air dry, let’s just say she’s taking full advantage of that. I’m not talking about pee everywhere, oh how I wish it was. My little nudist walked over to me, made eye contact and began to explode.. all over the floor. Yes that’s right poop, everywhere. All I could think was really you have to look me dead in the eye to do this!

Once … okay I understand, maybe the cool breeze against your tush feels nice. Twice, now you’re pushing it but three times. I can’t blame anyone but myself now. You’d think I’d learn after the first time! You also might think she’s eating solids, it’s a quick pick up stop whining. Think again it’s teething poop which means a watery clumpy mess.

Nothing like cleaning poop off your hardwood floors several times a week then having to sanitize! Note to self always keep a diaper in your back pocket.

I never thought I would talk about human excrements as much as I do. Welcome to motherhood!

I know I’m not the only mom out here dealing with a stinky little tushy! Don’t be embarrassed it’s all for shits and giggles.

Xo