Food for thought… working mom? stay at home mom?

So here’s some tea,

A lot of women are tore between a career and motherhood. Society makes us feel like we can’t have it both ways. I know very successful women who have children and are striving in the professional world. It is hard to put a price on missing moments though. As a SAHM ( stay at home mom) right now considering heading back into the workforce thats my biggest hurdle; missing moments with my daughter. Which I know is silly but as a mom you are constantly in your head wondering how and if your decisions are benefiting your children’s life in a positive way.

Eventually I will go back to work, not because I feel like I have to but because once my daughter is in school there is nothing keeping me behind the walls of our family home. I have a degree and to be honest it would be nice to put it to some use. In addition I’ve spoken to many moms and they want their freedom. Hold up; it’s not in a bad way but they want the financial freedom to go out shopping and not worrying about the impending mortgage or bills. The freedom to create something all their own. Motherhood is hard enough but we do lose ourselves. I’ve been trying to stay consistent with my blog but as first time mom of a toddler, its draining.

I want to have an answer for people who ask me “what do I like to do other than being a mom?”

… I’m loss for words

Well I do like writing and I’m teaching myself to sew but it never feels like enough. I have so many ideas in my head that I am my own road block when it comes to achieving them.

I’m a creative person; I like to brainstorm, research and create but what should I create? Where do I start?

I want my daughter to be proud of her mother. I want her to know when it’s her time for her own family that she can have it both ways. No matter if it’s creating something all her own or trailblazer in the business world.

Some women are drawn to their callings in life, May that be a career or a SAHM but never feel like you have to limit yourself to either category. There is a million of subcategories that you can venture into and there is nothing wrong with wanting more for your family. It’s just food for thought. Women are remarkable, our plates may be full but we always go for seconds.

We are the future …

Dear Mr. Sandman…

So here’s some tea,

A few months ago I created a few little rhyming stories to read to Olessia. This one seems to be her favourite and I thought I’d share 🙂

Dear Mr Sandman,

I’m all ready for bed

I’ve thrown on some pjs

you know the ones with the sleds

Daddy gave me a kiss and tucked me in tight

To prepare me for dreamland when he turns off the light

When I close my eyes what will I see?

Maybe some dragons or pirates or thieves

Or even some pandas playing in leaves

Oh the possibilities if you only just believe

So Mr Sandman can you bring me a dream?

Bring me the craziest that I’ve ever seen

talking dinosaurs?

flying pigs?

or fairy princesses in crowns made of twigs

If I don’t say thank you before I fall to sleep

I’ll meet you in dreamland by the cotton candy sheep …

Love Mommy & Olessia

Xoxo

The dreaded sleep regression.

So here’s some tea,

One thing I didn’t know about becoming a mother was sleep regression. I thought once your child starts sleeping through the night you’re in the clear. Oh how I was wrong. In child infancy your little one will go through several sleep regressions.

A sleep regression can be described as a period of time where your baby or toddler sleeping pattern will change abruptly. These changes can include waking up at night, skipping naps or ridiculously short naps. It’s as if you have a newborn again; cognitive and developmental milestones are to blame. This can last between two to six weeks. Therefore if you’re a new parent and you think you’ve achieved the unachievable. Spoiler alert the jokes on you, it’s not over.

These regressions will pop up around these time:

Six weeks

Four months

Eight, nine and ten months (roughly)

Twelves months

Eighteen months

Two years

Tips to get through it

• Extra feedings. I know the idea of more nighttime feedings will make you cringe but it’s not forever.

• Comfort. Your baby will need it through sleep regressions. Hugs and kisses can do no wrong. I’ve read to not create bad habits such as rocking your baby to sleep and etc. But I’m not one to give you advice for that. If I’m tired and want this child to get back to sleep. I will do just about anything to get it done. Note that my little one has never used a pacifier or bottle so I’ve always been her main source of comfort.

• Seek help if the regressions last more than 6 weeks.

• White noise machine works wonders

• Earlier bed time. Naps will be missed and to avoid over tired tears, see if your little one will go down for the night earlier.

You’ll be tired and frustrated but imagine how your child feels. Put yourself in their shoes, socks or booties. They’re growing, minds are racing like crazy and now having trouble sleeping. They’ve learned something new such as crawling or walking and it’s overwhelming. Be patient it’s not forever. Pour yourself another cup of coffee and you can do this. Personally we are going through the twelve month sleep regression at the moment. Therefore Olessia is skipping naps and attached to the boob at night. I look like I was hit by a bus but it’s almost done … that’s what I keep telling myself. Until we hit the eighteen month mark and it starts all over again.

Anyone have any other sleep regression tips?Share share!

Xo

Some products I use – starting my all natural journey

So here’s some tea,

I know this is a mommy blog but not everything needs to be about the babies! Let’s shine some light on us mommies too. I’m currently going through a change in my life where I’m realizing the effects products and foods are having on my body. I’m taking a page out of the au naturel book and beginning my journey.

Essential oils

At first I was beyond skeptical of oils because I didn’t know much about them. I was so confused how a few drops of an oil can sooth ailments and irritations. A company called Saje is where my essential oil love began. I’m pretty sure a friend of mine bought me my first roll on bottle of peppermint halo. If you aren’t familiar with the company, peppermint halo helps with headaches. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to buy another bottle of Tylenol, this thing works like magic. Essential oils in general are so beneficial for your health! From headaches, fertility and so much more. I have my own personal collection of oils and a diffuser. Trust me it works for little ones too! Especially teething, toss a few chamomile drops in your diffuser or the bottom of their feet and your fussy babies mood will change.

Few oils I love

Peppermint halo – headaches

Tea tree – for everything really

Lavender – improves sleep and much more

Roman chamomile – digestive issue, reduce inflammation and much more

Pain release – pain and sore ligaments

Clary sage– helps balance hormones and much more

Frankincense – boost immune system and much more

Adding certain oils together can do wonderful things you should try it!!

Deodorant

I’ve done a lot of research and believe me I’ve tried a lot of products. Not many worked for me but one. Which I’m still in the detoxing phase but so far no smelly situations. I’ll put it out there though I’ve never been a sweaty person until I started breastfeeding, it’s a workout I tell ya so finding something that worked was a must. Shout out to my au naturel guru for telling me about it!

Why did I want to make this change?

I personally wanted to make the switch for a while now even before I was pregnant because of all the toxins that are in antiperspirant and their link to cancers. I’m putting my foot down I refuse to buy another antiperspirant deodorant.

DID NOT WORK

Lush powder

Saje crystal

Toms

Soft & Dry

Currently Working

Jason

Beauty products

Lush Coal face soap – I have very oily skin and this soap leaves your face cleanser and helps with excess oils!

Lush tea tree oil facial spray – I use this toner everyday. Helps with blemishes and leaves me refreshed

Lush is fresh and handmade but controversial. Due to the fact that there are some products that do contain small traces of parabens, just putting it out there.

Parabens are found in cosmetic products to stop the forming of yeast and bacteria. Parabens are being linked to cancer as well

I’m currently looking into making my own personal products from scratch to eliminate any and all interaction with parabens.

Hair products

Coconut oil ; I use this as an extra conditioner to help moisten my hair. It’s also great for taking off make up, stretch marks and lotion for your skin!

Apple cider vinegar is the holy grail for me. I use this for everything. I love how it cleanses my hair in a water to AVC ratio as well as a feminine cleanse (not as a douche just outside!)

Help me with my journey, any natural products you know of? Please share 🙂

Mom Fail Friday’s – Thursday night fever no Travolta

So here’s some tea,

Moms aren’t perfect although we try so hard to be. I feel like a common mom failure we all come across is when our little ones get sick. I’ve been lucky enough to deal with only one cold within our first year, which was my fault when she was a few months old (head cold 🙁 ). So when a high fever arose I was completely taken back. I literally forgot everything I’ve known and read. It wasn’t Saturday Night Fever and there was no John Travolta dancing the night away. It was one scared momma and a baby who wasn’t quite sure what was going on.

(Fever chart in case anyone is interested)

For a little one who had a fever over the 38°C (armpit tested) she had a lot of energy. She even missed all her naps and was still my happy giggling little girl. As the night went on she began to get hotter and hotter. She normally runs hot, as in she sweats like a beast but this time it wasn’t normal. I caved and gave her a bit of baby Advil hoping it would take the edge of the fever and she could sleep it off in the night. I’m my opinion It didn’t work at all.

I don’t think I slept a wink, I was by her side with a lukewarm face cloth on her forehead and holding her little hand. Anyone who has kids you can understand the gut wrenching guilt and hatred you have for yourself when your baby is suffering and there’s nothing you can do. You feel like you’ve failed in some way. To make matters worse she woke up in the middle of the night and wanted boob. Which as a breastfeeding mother I’m accustomed too. What I’m not accustomed to is projectile milk right back at me and surprisingly I even caught one with my hands. That may sound gross and not impressive but trust me It was. At this point she couldn’t hold anything down, I was so worried because her not being able to eat could lead to dehydration.

I tried everything she wouldn’t take water or ice cubes (which are her favourite thing), it all just came right back up. I felt defeated and a failure all night, nothing I was doing was helping. I keep reading online trying to figure out if it was her molars or the vaccinations. While I was trying to find some answers it lead me to this article….

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.thestar.com/amp/life/parent/2011/12/13/mild_mmr_vaccine_reactions_fairly_common_at_12_months_study.html

Which if you don’t want to read it, it just plainly states that reactions such as fevers are normal with this vaccine. Many babies end up being taken to the hospital due to the fever because parents are at odds.

You could imagine my sigh of relief to know that it’s common and she will get through it. Olessia has been pretty clingy today, tired and the fever is still lingering but thankfully her temperature has dropped a bit. You better believe I’m still watching her at all cost. It may of felt like a huge mom fail last night but it feels rewarding to know my baby is alright and fighting through this fever with a smile.

Few things I tried

lukewarm face cloth (forehead and neck)

lukewarm bath

Baby Advil (last night)

Ice cube (for eating… would only hold it)

Water (only few sips then threw up)

Fans on

No covers

Only in diaper

Baby Tylenol (this morning)

Lots and lots of cuddles

Do you have any other fever fighting tips?! Please share!!

Xo

I’m not the same woman

So here’s some tea,

I’m not the same woman…

This isn’t a post to rant nor complain but to acknowledge the fact that the woman I once was is no longer. The childless, well rested and timid girl is long gone. When I look in the mirror I don’t see the same person who use to look back at me.

Yes becoming a mother changes you in many physical ways but I want to talk about the changes I noticed that happened to me, mentally after the first year of motherhood. I was and still am what you can call an introvert. I am still quite social but I prefer solitude. I have never craved an attention or a night out in anyway. To be honest I use to make excuses out of going out to parties or clubs. Funny thing is that hasn’t changed but what has changed Is how I view myself.

My insecurities turn to security

As I look in mirrors nowadays I don’t feel the desire to put on make up anymore. I have fallen in love with naked appearance. I’m not speaking about my body but my face. For the first time I can appreciate my flawed skin, my tiny eyelashes and my bushy brows. Even the two designer eye bags that are permanently on my mug. I’ve also come to terms with the fact that my face has started to mature, fine lines are beginning to appear and I’m more than okay with that.

My hair

I don’t even feel the need to straighten out my curls anymore. I use to love to change up my looks, a few times a month but not anymore. My curls are my crown and after 26 years I am finally appreciating them. After constant heat damage and bleaching, my hair is the healthiest it’s been in a decade… a damn decade! Especially after postpartum shedding I’m leaving my hair well enough alone!!

I’ve actually been speaking with a few girlfriends who are au naturel and I’ve been getting their advice on products. It’s been refreshing and beyond helpful! I’m not going to lie to you though, I’ve been dying to try out a protective style ‘faux locs’ (fake dreadlocks). Unfortunately I’m not good at sitting still and waiting for my hair to be done plus my wild child would probably try to pull them out *insert eye roll*

(In my dreams wahhh)

My calling

The need to find my calling in life has grown. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a mom now or what. The things I wanted before my daughter was born don’t seem to matter anymore. What matters to me is finding my passion in life, trying to excel at it and to show my daughter her mom can do it all.

My patience

I have always had a pretty decent amount of patience but that has seemed to change a bit during this first year of motherhood. My patience has amplified for my child in which I try my best to remain as zen as possible. Unless I’m over tired and then it’s like go take a nap, momma needs a second (I think any mom can relate). I’ve learnt to really adjust and analyze situations where more patience’s is needed. Everyday is a new obstacle and I’m a work in progress. So noticing my shortcomings have helped me fix and discover new ways to better my patience, communication and in all my behaviour. Our children are a reflection of us and I want to teach myself and my daughter better cooping skills for any situation that is thrown at her.

My temper

I’ll say this first I will not argue, that is how I’ve always been. Arguments lead to words you can’t take back and I refuse to do that. You might think then how do you express you’re self when you’re upset. I personally wait until everything has calmed down to talk. If you have something to say to me, speak in a lower tone or not at all. Which is difficult for my 6’5 Polish boyfriend who is generally a loud ass person when he talks.

My love

This is where I’ve noticed my biggest change, is in the way I love. You never knew how much you can love someone until you have a child. Yes, you can love your pets but when you bring a child into the world it’s different. I thought I’ve always loved strong but my love towards my family I’ve created is insane.

I have changed and matured so much within the last year that the woman I once was I don’t miss. The woman I am today has so much more to live for and to love. I can say for the first time I’ve fallen in love with myself and my life. It may not be sunshine and unicorns all the time, nobodies life is but it’s my life. So I may not be the same woman but that’s okay….

Do you feel like a different woman after becoming a mother? I’d love to know!

Xo

Mom Fail Fridays – cake smash fail

So here’s some tea,

First, let’s just put it out there in the universe that I’m not the best baker in the world. To be honest I’m not even a decent one but I attempted to bake my daughters smash cake for her first birthday. My thoughts were she was just going to make a mess and not technically eat the damn thing so it doesn’t need to be extraordinary.

(can you notice the look of disgust on her face)

Well I could of at least made it look better than that to be honest! It was a complete fail, it was leaning over and falling apart right before our eyes. I even tried holding it up with a decorative toothpick. It wasn’t hot, so that wasn’t the case. I just didn’t cut it properly and to make matters worse she didn’t even want to smash it. She literally wanted nothing to do with that thing I called a “cake”. We had to help her and teach her to dig in. What happened next was just tears …..

I don’t know if it was the cake or it was the long day of turning one.

To be honest apart of me is blaming the cake! This is a fail that I’m gong to keep trying till I get it right. On a happier note the cake ended up tasting awesome but looked like a half eaten sausage. I would fit in perfectly on the Netflix show nailed it! From here on out though I vow to be the mom to at least make a pretty looking cake for her second birthday!

Am I the only terrible baker/decorator out there?! Don’t leave me hanging!

Xo

Happy 1st Birthday Olessia!

Dear Olessia,

Before my eyes you’ve grown so fast

I knew this phase would not last

It still brings tears to my eyes to say

That my baby girl turns one today

You’re a piece of mommy

And daddy too

There is nothing I mean nothing we wouldn’t do for you

Happiest first birthday my love

You made us parents, You have not only brightened our lives you have made it worth living. From the day we took you home you’ve been a spunky, sassy and a happy little baby. Now you’re walking and babbling away. I’m only sad today because where has the time gone. Now you’re one years old and have officially turned into a toddler *Cue the violins* but you will always be my baby.

Thank you for choosing us as your parents because we are so grateful you’re our daughter. I love you more than life itself.

Mom Fail Fridays – story time from other moms!

So here’s some tea,

It’s Mom Fail Friday and instead of my fails this week I’m going to be posting a few stories some people have sent me!

“ my son has fallen off the bed so many times that we put railings up, you would think that would stop him but no. It was a challenge he graciously accepted. We eventually had to put our bed on floor to refrain from anymore visits to the emergency.”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 1

“ I can not count how many times I’ve taken a piece of dog food out of my daughters mouth. I even make sure the bowl is off the floor before I put her down. Somehow and someway she finds a kibble.”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 2

“Clearly my son watches the dog 2 much. I watched him take his diaper off and proceed to lift his leg to pee on our indoor plant. I stood there for a minute in shock. What is going on in my household!?”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 3

“ my daughter has found a way to take her diaper off. You may think that’s cute and funny until you’re wiping poop off your family room wall”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 1

Kids do the darnedest things

Hope you got a quick giggle! I’d love to hear more, sent away!!!

Xo

Showering is a luxury

So here’s some tea,

Were you lucky enough to take a shower before dinner time? I envy you. After becoming a mother I didn’t realize how small things such as showering becomes a luxury. You may laugh but I’m serious certain things are not easy or possible to do with a little one around. When they are small enough to be in a bouncer, yes then you can shower but if they’re walking around and active like my little one, it’s insanely hard.

Let’s be real I’m lucky enough to be clothed everyday! (welcome to motherhood, pants not included) Society has put so much pressure on moms to be this idealistic trophy wife. I’m over here aiming for that participation award type of wifey. I came,I saw, I did decent! Eventually I came to realize quick that the idea of becoming this showered, face beat, dressed to the nine and ‘I use the washroom alone’ type of mom wasn’t realistic.

Looking back I took for granted my regular showers and my weekly bubble baths; where I’d have a Guinness and a good book. Now I have five minute showers hearing phantom cries, followed by being bombarded at the door before I can put on a bra. I’ve become very accustomed to being a grease ball, that being said I still beg for a shower by the time my significant other gets home.

Although it still baffles me how men will take a hour on the toilet. I’m jealous, I have to make it quick because my little one is either making a mess of the toilet paper or wanting to climb all over me. A friend and I joke all the time that in our next life we are coming back as a dads!

Another luxury for moms is getting to eat your food without it getting cold or having to share. Yes sharing is caring (blah blah blah) but really if I hand it to her she’s just going to throw it on the floor. Let momma put it to some good use, so she can keep up with you!

On a daily basis if I’m able to clean up, keep little one on a schedule and also make dinner it’s a win. All those other stuff such as showers, make up, dressing nicely and even sleep are the least of my concern. My names Martikka and I’m a hot mess momma!

Are you a hot mess momma? What luxuries do you miss? Tell me! Tell me!