Our birth story

So here’s some tea,

Our birth story

Funny thing I never thought to write about it because it was so fast that no one would want to hear about it. I’m not saying that in the form of bragging because if you’ve gone through childbirth you know what I mean, it’s just this story is not a chair gripping tale.

My due date was the 12th of August 2017, I already knew she wasn’t going to stay in there until then, let’s just say mothers intuition. I tried several natural ways to help the process along which means a lot of sex, red raspberry leaf tea, squats and evening primrose.

By the evening of August 7th, I was a miserable mess and my back was on fire. I was so uncomfortable that I didn’t even have the strength to walk down the street to meet my boyfriend at our friends house.

So when midnight hit I noticed that I was having irregular contractions (they didn’t hurt at this point) and we ended up meeting my Midwife at the hospital.

Unfortunately due to the irregularities in the contractions and the fact that of only being 1cm, we were sent back home. The rest of the night/early morning I was in and out of the bath tub. Being in the bath tub helped the piercing back pain; I could of stayed in there all night to be honest I didn’t want to leave.

By 8 am I headed back to the washroom this time to relieve myself (thank goodness, I didn’t want to poop giving birth) as I was wiping I noticed my mucus plug ended up coming out as well. Perfffecttttt! I knew that meant labour is starting and it’s about to get real. In a matter of moments while walking back from the washroom my water broke. Yellowy liquid everywhere … strange I always thought it was clear but little did I know that meant something else.

I ended up waking my boyfriend up and said my water broke!

“so is it time?” He unenthusiastically grunted. To be honest I thought I would just a more dramatic movie scene reaction of a father to be in panic… nope. Better luck next time!

I told him I had to call my Midwife so that’s exactly what I did. I called my midwife and she was a little saucy too to be honest. You can only imagine how unimpressed I am at this point. Due to the colour of my water (which was light yellow) she was convinced I peed myself.

*Eye roll* like I just came from the washroom and plus I’d know if I peed, this was a different kind of release of pressure. Whatever, my contractions were also close enough that she agreed to meet at the hospital.

At 9:30 am we were walking in the hospital and trust me I looked like Quasimodo from the hunchback of Notre Dame walking through the lobby but I refused any and all wheelchairs. Everyone looking at me concerned but.. I knew walking would help labour, so I’ll walk to that damn delivery room even if I was shrieking in pain.

Once I was in the room they discovered the reason why my water was yellow. Not because I peed myself but because Olessia had pooped in the womb. A Paediatrician was on call but no one let me think I should worry. Therefore I wasn’t worried just in pain at this point. It all happened so fast that even thought of an epidural was out of the question. I arrived at the hospital at 4 cm went to 7cm in a half and hour and 10cm not too long after.

Time to get that baby out!!!

My boyfriend was holding my legs with a full view of my crotch (poor guy) and my mom was holding my neck (bad work injury screwed up my neck). I kept saying “I can’t do this, I can’t do this” … but my boyfriend kept reassuring me I could.

At some point I had to use leg stirrups to help me but Olessia was stuck between a flap of skin (I don’t know what it’s called) but instead of cutting me another on call midwife came in the room to assist. She had a trick by wiggling Olessia out, by swaying me back and forth while another tried to push aside the skin. It worked! Once her head was passed that point she slide out like butter (sorry for the visual)

This all happened within 7 minutes. 7 minutes of pushing and our little angel was born. I remember my Midwife asked me if I wanted to feel her hair while she was coming out and I look back now and I wish I did but at the time I’m like no I’m good let’s get her out!

After the Midwife and Paediatrician cleared her and made sure there was no poop in her lung she was all ours. I made my boyfriend do skin to skin right away while I delivered the placenta. The Midwife was so amazed of how healthy my placenta was. We thought it was strange because we had no idea of how amazing it actually was. Another thing I wish I did was make pills out of my placenta. May sound gross to some but it has so many benefits as well as it could of helped with a faster recovery.

By the time I got to the hospital at 9:30am to the 12:55pm on August 8th when she was born, was the most pain I’ve ever been in. Unmedicated, raw and fast are three ways to describe my first experience of childbirth. I didn’t realize how strong I was until I gave birth.

If you ask me would I do it all again, I would in a heartbeat and unmedicated too!

What are three words to describe your childbirth experience?!

Friendships after baby …

So here’s some tea,

Friendships just like relationships go through their bumps and hurdles. One bump in particular is a baby bump. Once you start having babies your friendships change. Especially if your friends aren’t at the baby point in life yet. Which there isn’t anything wrong with that, it’s not for everyone. Plus everyone has their own path and journey in life.

I, myself have never been a big partier. I would make excuses out of going out. Let’s just put it out there once again, I’m a HUGE introvert. So when I announced I was pregnant nothing changed but people’s expectations of me. People thought I should soak up my last moments before I transitioned into motherhood. I thought otherwise, I was constantly sick with my daughter so going out was hard for me. When I say sick I don’t mean one or two times. I mean three or four times a day coming out of my nose type of sick. I was constantly bailing on my friends and I felt that it made an impact on my friendships. Only until I posted a picture people finally saw how frail I was due to the morning sickness and I wasn’t milking it.

Although I was lucky enough to be pregnant around the same time as two of my friends. Therefore as my pregnancy progress they became my “go to” people I texted everyday because they understood. I didn’t feel so alone with them any ache or pain they understood and didn’t judge nor think I was complaining. Not like my other friends thought I was complaining but let’s be real no one really wants to hear that your back is throbbing everyday or your glucose test took forever.

It was eye opening though to see people’s reactions and behaviours after the birth of my daughter. It takes events in life to realize who is there for you and who isn’t. I have a few friends who still haven’t met my daughter or only seen her once. Not because of geography just because they have their own stuff going on. Which no shade or anything like that, I understand but It does hurt a bit.

One thing many people without children don’t realize is late night events aren’t easy for us. I would never say make plans around people with children because that’s ridiculous but don’t get upset if one of us or neither can attend because we have a child. I’m sorry, my daughter still relies on me for bed time plus I don’t expect someone to watch her so I can go out. Maybe when she’s older it’ll be different but not right now.

The dynamic of relationships on any level change when you enter a new phase in your life. As you see the one that took the most hits was my friendships. You learn to accept your relationships for what they are and move forward. I’m still not about to go out drinking or partying anymore but I’m okay with that. My life has steered in a new direction and I’m happy. I appreciate the friends who have stuck by me, who love my daughter like their own, who are abroad but close to our hearts and my new mommy friends.

This wasn’t to throw shade; this was more to shine light that being a mom is hard work and sometimes friendships can be affected by that too.

Mom Fail Fridays – Mombie life

So here’s some tea,

As summer is ending; here comes autumn. It has to be my favourite time of the year. Everything starts to cool off with orange and red accents everywhere. Yes I’m basic but hand me a pumpkin spiced anything and I’m a happy girl. With my little one old enough to enjoy fall activities I’m beyond excited.

What will her costume be? What should I be for Halloween? Maybe a zombie? Because that’s how I’m feeling nowadays. Today’s version of mom fail friday is two “mombie” fails.

Mine – 1 little girl

My little one recently has been very restless in the middle of the night. Thank you teething… *eye roll*

So the other night around 3 am, her restlessness woke me up. I was half asleep, I touched her butt and it was wet. I didn’t even look at my hand I just wipe it on my shirt then proceeded to change her diaper. In my groggy state I looked down at my shirt …. poop. Seriously! Once I changed her and got her back to sleep, I went toss her diaper in the genie. Somehow someway my hand met poop once again. Ughhhhh clearly I need to toss my glasses on when it comes to diaper changes at night.

A friend of mines story – 2 little girls

“My little one woke up at 6 am. Typically I give her a bottle and she goes back to sleep . I try not to turn on a a lot of lights otherwise she’ll be up for good … I poured her milk into the bottle from her thermos . Everything was perfect ! I put her to lay down and gave her the bottle like every other night/ morning …..

Buuuut realized super quickly that my little one was soaked ! This mama was so tired and I forgot to put the stupid lid on the bottle . I knew right then and there this wasn’t going to go well.

The funniest thing was her response . I had to walk away to go get another bottle and clothes & whatnot . Usually she cries but she just looked at me like what in the entire fuck just happened ?!?! Even when I was changing her , she was looking deep into my soul like “ mom , get your shit together “

Have you ever been half asleep and had a mom fail?!

xo

Mom Fail Fridays – baby proofing

So here’s some tea,

It’s mom fail Friday and a recent fail of mine is baby proofing. By baby proofing I mean I haven’t…. at all. Well we do have the plug covers on and the gate for the stairs. So technically we have the most important things done. Although I underestimated my daughter and where her stinky little fingers will go.

Some women during their nesting phase of pregnancy will start their baby proofing then. Which you may be thinking ‘hey slow down the baby isn’t even here yet’. Those are the women that are thinking ahead! Once the baby arrives you’ll be too tired and consumed with motherhood to even think about it. Which you’ll inevitably forget until you notice your baby on the move. Clearly I’m on the forgetting end of that spectrum. You are technically suppose to start between the ages of 6-10 months due to the fact they’ll be crawling and getting into things. My little one is now 12 months old and has became a tornado. If you leave the lid up in the bathroom all the toilet rolls end up in there and all the clothes will somehow magically appear on on the floor.

Luckily Olessia mainly likes to just remove things from drawers and has only shut it on her fingers gently a few times. Which means I need to take charge before she really hurts herself. Due to where we live now there isn’t a lot of trouble she can get into but I have to cover the basics

Baby proofing

Bathroom

⁃ Toilet lid

⁃ Cabinet

⁃ Toilet roll

⁃ Slip pads in the tub

⁃ Drain cover

Kitchen

⁃ Cabinets

Bedroom

⁃ Dresser cabinets

⁃ Bed rails

Miscellaneous

⁃ Stair gates

⁃ Plug covers

⁃ Door knobs

⁃ Locks

⁃ Cords

⁃ Sharp edges

Honestly baby proofing is a headache and something I’m not very good at. Thinking about places your baby can possibly hurt themselves will have you using the twisted and creative side of your brain. Seriously you hurt herself by dropping a toy on her face …. I guess we never grow out of that. I know what you’re thinking you’ve dropped your phone of your face plenty of times too, Haven’t we all! For the safety of my child though I will baby proof everything if need be but I think I’ll have better luck just covering her in bubble wrap.

Xo

The dreaded sleep regression.

So here’s some tea,

One thing I didn’t know about becoming a mother was sleep regression. I thought once your child starts sleeping through the night you’re in the clear. Oh how I was wrong. In child infancy your little one will go through several sleep regressions.

A sleep regression can be described as a period of time where your baby or toddler sleeping pattern will change abruptly. These changes can include waking up at night, skipping naps or ridiculously short naps. It’s as if you have a newborn again; cognitive and developmental milestones are to blame. This can last between two to six weeks. Therefore if you’re a new parent and you think you’ve achieved the unachievable. Spoiler alert the jokes on you, it’s not over.

These regressions will pop up around these time:

Six weeks

Four months

Eight, nine and ten months (roughly)

Twelves months

Eighteen months

Two years

Tips to get through it

• Extra feedings. I know the idea of more nighttime feedings will make you cringe but it’s not forever.

• Comfort. Your baby will need it through sleep regressions. Hugs and kisses can do no wrong. I’ve read to not create bad habits such as rocking your baby to sleep and etc. But I’m not one to give you advice for that. If I’m tired and want this child to get back to sleep. I will do just about anything to get it done. Note that my little one has never used a pacifier or bottle so I’ve always been her main source of comfort.

• Seek help if the regressions last more than 6 weeks.

• White noise machine works wonders

• Earlier bed time. Naps will be missed and to avoid over tired tears, see if your little one will go down for the night earlier.

You’ll be tired and frustrated but imagine how your child feels. Put yourself in their shoes, socks or booties. They’re growing, minds are racing like crazy and now having trouble sleeping. They’ve learned something new such as crawling or walking and it’s overwhelming. Be patient it’s not forever. Pour yourself another cup of coffee and you can do this. Personally we are going through the twelve month sleep regression at the moment. Therefore Olessia is skipping naps and attached to the boob at night. I look like I was hit by a bus but it’s almost done … that’s what I keep telling myself. Until we hit the eighteen month mark and it starts all over again.

Anyone have any other sleep regression tips?Share share!

Xo

Mom Fail Friday’s – Thursday night fever no Travolta

So here’s some tea,

Moms aren’t perfect although we try so hard to be. I feel like a common mom failure we all come across is when our little ones get sick. I’ve been lucky enough to deal with only one cold within our first year, which was my fault when she was a few months old (head cold 🙁 ). So when a high fever arose I was completely taken back. I literally forgot everything I’ve known and read. It wasn’t Saturday Night Fever and there was no John Travolta dancing the night away. It was one scared momma and a baby who wasn’t quite sure what was going on.

(Fever chart in case anyone is interested)

For a little one who had a fever over the 38°C (armpit tested) she had a lot of energy. She even missed all her naps and was still my happy giggling little girl. As the night went on she began to get hotter and hotter. She normally runs hot, as in she sweats like a beast but this time it wasn’t normal. I caved and gave her a bit of baby Advil hoping it would take the edge of the fever and she could sleep it off in the night. I’m my opinion It didn’t work at all.

I don’t think I slept a wink, I was by her side with a lukewarm face cloth on her forehead and holding her little hand. Anyone who has kids you can understand the gut wrenching guilt and hatred you have for yourself when your baby is suffering and there’s nothing you can do. You feel like you’ve failed in some way. To make matters worse she woke up in the middle of the night and wanted boob. Which as a breastfeeding mother I’m accustomed too. What I’m not accustomed to is projectile milk right back at me and surprisingly I even caught one with my hands. That may sound gross and not impressive but trust me It was. At this point she couldn’t hold anything down, I was so worried because her not being able to eat could lead to dehydration.

I tried everything she wouldn’t take water or ice cubes (which are her favourite thing), it all just came right back up. I felt defeated and a failure all night, nothing I was doing was helping. I keep reading online trying to figure out if it was her molars or the vaccinations. While I was trying to find some answers it lead me to this article….

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.thestar.com/amp/life/parent/2011/12/13/mild_mmr_vaccine_reactions_fairly_common_at_12_months_study.html

Which if you don’t want to read it, it just plainly states that reactions such as fevers are normal with this vaccine. Many babies end up being taken to the hospital due to the fever because parents are at odds.

You could imagine my sigh of relief to know that it’s common and she will get through it. Olessia has been pretty clingy today, tired and the fever is still lingering but thankfully her temperature has dropped a bit. You better believe I’m still watching her at all cost. It may of felt like a huge mom fail last night but it feels rewarding to know my baby is alright and fighting through this fever with a smile.

Few things I tried

lukewarm face cloth (forehead and neck)

lukewarm bath

Baby Advil (last night)

Ice cube (for eating… would only hold it)

Water (only few sips then threw up)

Fans on

No covers

Only in diaper

Baby Tylenol (this morning)

Lots and lots of cuddles

Do you have any other fever fighting tips?! Please share!!

Xo

Mom Fail Fridays – cake smash fail

So here’s some tea,

First, let’s just put it out there in the universe that I’m not the best baker in the world. To be honest I’m not even a decent one but I attempted to bake my daughters smash cake for her first birthday. My thoughts were she was just going to make a mess and not technically eat the damn thing so it doesn’t need to be extraordinary.

(can you notice the look of disgust on her face)

Well I could of at least made it look better than that to be honest! It was a complete fail, it was leaning over and falling apart right before our eyes. I even tried holding it up with a decorative toothpick. It wasn’t hot, so that wasn’t the case. I just didn’t cut it properly and to make matters worse she didn’t even want to smash it. She literally wanted nothing to do with that thing I called a “cake”. We had to help her and teach her to dig in. What happened next was just tears …..

I don’t know if it was the cake or it was the long day of turning one.

To be honest apart of me is blaming the cake! This is a fail that I’m gong to keep trying till I get it right. On a happier note the cake ended up tasting awesome but looked like a half eaten sausage. I would fit in perfectly on the Netflix show nailed it! From here on out though I vow to be the mom to at least make a pretty looking cake for her second birthday!

Am I the only terrible baker/decorator out there?! Don’t leave me hanging!

Xo

Happy 1st Birthday Olessia!

Dear Olessia,

Before my eyes you’ve grown so fast

I knew this phase would not last

It still brings tears to my eyes to say

That my baby girl turns one today

You’re a piece of mommy

And daddy too

There is nothing I mean nothing we wouldn’t do for you

Happiest first birthday my love

You made us parents, You have not only brightened our lives you have made it worth living. From the day we took you home you’ve been a spunky, sassy and a happy little baby. Now you’re walking and babbling away. I’m only sad today because where has the time gone. Now you’re one years old and have officially turned into a toddler *Cue the violins* but you will always be my baby.

Thank you for choosing us as your parents because we are so grateful you’re our daughter. I love you more than life itself.

Mom Fail Fridays – story time from other moms!

So here’s some tea,

It’s Mom Fail Friday and instead of my fails this week I’m going to be posting a few stories some people have sent me!

“ my son has fallen off the bed so many times that we put railings up, you would think that would stop him but no. It was a challenge he graciously accepted. We eventually had to put our bed on floor to refrain from anymore visits to the emergency.”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 1

“ I can not count how many times I’ve taken a piece of dog food out of my daughters mouth. I even make sure the bowl is off the floor before I put her down. Somehow and someway she finds a kibble.”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 2

“Clearly my son watches the dog 2 much. I watched him take his diaper off and proceed to lift his leg to pee on our indoor plant. I stood there for a minute in shock. What is going on in my household!?”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 3

“ my daughter has found a way to take her diaper off. You may think that’s cute and funny until you’re wiping poop off your family room wall”

⁃ anonymous, mom of 1

Kids do the darnedest things

Hope you got a quick giggle! I’d love to hear more, sent away!!!

Xo

Women empowerment – next generation

So here’s some tea,

I’m a girl mom, that phrase shouldn’t make you think of tutus and headbands (which I might add are super cute) but it should make you think of the next kick ass generation of women.

As a mom of a little girl, I’m determined to teach her the significance and importance to raise your fellow females up. Sadly in many cultures the odds are stacked against us as women from the day we are born. I want to be able to teach my daughter to rise above the obstacles that she’ll inevitably face as a woman, if it’s in terms of a job, society and even in relationships.

Why is raising a strong, smart and powerful woman so important to me? because women like that is what this world needs.

I told someone that I let my daughter be free and as crazy as she wants to be. She’s too young to do otherwise but she already has so much personality that the last thing I want to do is hinder it.

The person responded back “ You don’t hear that from many mothers often, about letting their child be wild and free”

That was how I was raised and I’m going to pass that down to my daughter. My mother has always let me be me. I use to paint cartoons on my walls and dance in the rain to Mariah Carey as if I was in some mtv music video! I even had a constant mess of books about Egypt and projects because it was my dream to be an Egyptologist (yeah clearly that didn’t happen)

I have and always will be an oddly strange wildflower in a wide open field waiting for a Dixie chick song to come on.

Remarkably that dynamic and the complete transparency with my mother allowed us to have a friendship, where her opinion matters to me rather then feeling like it was parental judgement.

Women in general are mean though, and not because we are born like that but it’s because we are taught to be. The insane idea of constantly being in this survival mode and to compete with one another is absurd. If it’s not slut shaming or body shaming, it’s belittling each other. I see it everyday if it’s not in social media it’s in our everyday lives. We all know someone right now who is tearing another girl down to satisfy her own insecurities. It’s disgusting, where is the sisterhood at?

Remember this isn’t hunger games ladies, relax. Just because you personally wouldn’t wear that or say that or even do that doesn’t make you any better of a person and them any less. I want my daughter to know when another woman falls, you give her a hand up. And when a woman finds success and happiness you in turn be happy for her. Its a feather in all of our caps as women. This world needs good people and especially good women remember that.

It’s also nice to see in the media today that there is more positive and diverse role models for little girls. I want Olessia to be comfortable in her own skin, and that any new or old societal pressures to be a certain way doesn’t hinder from the extraordinary woman she is and will become. Women are phenomenal so let’s raise the next generation of women to appreciate, support, love, assist and in all respect one other because it all starts with us.

END GIRL HATE!