Baby number two?

So here’s some tea,

In the past few months I’ve had a serious fever, baby fever. It could be the fact my little one is growing up so fast and I want her to have a sibling. Or many of my mommy friends are about to pop out another one. Baby fomo, is that a thing?

Many of them were trying and some came as a sweet surprise. It makes me wonder when it’s the right time for us to have another.

If you’ve read some of my blogs, you know I’m an avid googler and I look up everything. Several internet mommies stated to wait at least 18 months then begin to try again. Which gives your body enough time to properly heal and for you adjust to motherhood. That’s fine and dandy for some but many love children close in age, which is just as awesome. Whichever you choose you make it work. Ive always wanted Olessia to have a partner in crime to take over the world with.. but what’s a good age gap?

I personally like the idea of my daughter being two years old and out of diapers before the other one arrives. That being said questions circulate in my mind as if we are ready.

How would Olessia feel sharing the attention?

Will Olessia feel neglected?

Will I be able to handle two with my boyfriend at work?

Should I work for a while before trying for another one?

How will I heal the second time around?

The uncertainty is real! Some days I believe I can handle two no problem and there are others like today where I’m so exhausted and can’t wait for bed time. Believe me when I say one baby screaming at you is hard enough. Big up to the mommas out there who have multiples or Irish twins. You’re the real ones!

I go back and forth all day long thinking about how it will affect my little one. I love my daughter and my attention is all hers. I know she loves kids and will welcome a sibling no problem but am I taking away her ‘mommy and me’ alone time too soon.

Also I’m not scared of the pregnancy aspect (which I disliked with my first) I’m quite looking forward to end result a beautiful little terror. Hopefully pregnancy would be easier this time around but I’m scared of the healing. It took me so long to finally heal, will the second be just as bad or easier? I know I’m rambling but come on, you have to admit this is a big decision to electively decide to try for another little stinker.

Don’t get me started on working though, I have an opportunity to work but I’m nervous. I don’t want to send her to daycare, I want to take care of her during these tender years but I also don’t want the financial burden on just my boyfriend. He assures me it’s fine but I’m not the type to let a man just bring home the bacon, I need to bring home some eggs and toast too! He did make a valid point though, daycare is so expensive I’d be just working to pay for it and there’s really no point. It’s sad but that’s our reality. Therefore work is up in the air right now.

Ugh the guilt that comes with making such a big decision. If you are wondering why I’m thinking so much about it, Aunt Flo has came back. After 10 months of breastfeeding with no period, it’s back. *Cue the violins* I was really loving wearing white without the sheer anxiety of looking at my butt ‘just to make sure’. Also that means no more pulling the goalie. If we are going to wait and go back to work we’d have to be cautious.

I love my little family and I’d loved another baby but coming to a decision try for another has a lot more variables than I thought.

Any moms out there expecting their second? What’s the age gap and when do you know you’re ready?

I’d love to hear for you xo

Mom fail Fridays!

So here’s some tea,

Introducing mom fail Fridays !

Yes we all act like we are perfect blah blah blah but there are times when we aren’t. Instead of taking ourselves so seriously and beating ourselves up about it, we need to laugh it off.

Here’s a recent fail of my own. I love doing my own photoshoots with my daughter. The brainstorming put into it and the set up really floats my boat! Although things don’t always go as they’re planned.

One day I got the bright idea to do a milk bath picture. I saw them on Pinterest and they looked magical. I wanted to try it out, Why not right! I pumped some breast milk (I didn’t want to use the powdered milk) and bought some fake flowers from the dollar store.

My daughter was in a good mood; we were set to go. I ran the bath a little, so there was only enough water for the flowers to float. I put the milk in, watched the water get cloudy and smiled. I was thinking this is going to be such an awesome picture and we are definitely going to frame it.

I threw the flowers in and I set her gently into the tub. If this shot doesn’t speak wonders for what happened next I don’t know what will.

I tried to make her smile for maybe a good minute, it wasn’t working. Lo and behold she had a flower on her back bugging her. I felt horrible I picked her, I was trying to comfort her but nothing was helping. She was still screaming at me. Complete mom fail, I could see a slight imprint of the flower on her back. She was definitely uncomfortable and I was the cause. Great, mom of the year award goes to this goof!

I jumped in the tub clothes on with my screaming child. And guess what!

Tears vanished!

Moral of this story. Move things out of the way when you place your baby down. Also pictures don’t always turn out how you invisioned them.

Have you ever had a mom fail? I’d love to hear them 🙂

Postpartum body

So here’s some tea,

If you aren’t a fan of TMI this is probably not a post for you! Just keeping it real here. This post is my appreciation for our postpartum bodies. Our bodies are beyond remarkable, we create life for Pete’s sake. I like to think of us as some underrated superheroes. Call us the life bringers, increasing the population one human at a time! Has a nice ring to it eh? But I doubt it would sell out in theaters. No one wants to watch blood and fluid spilling out everywhere, while baby Voldemort is shooting out of your crotch.

I got a bit side tracked there; but our bodies go through so many changes from the day we are born to the day we become mothers. (If that’s what life has planned for you of course). What I’m trying to get at is we are phenomenal and that doesn’t change after giving birth either. The fact our uterus’ shrinks itself after birth is unreal but it may be a tiny bit painful. Especially if you’re breastfeeding. While your baby is feeding a chemical is released in your body to signal thetighten and shrinking process” and trust me you can feel it.

And not to be too graphic now but during my early weeks into months of my postpartum healing, my lady parts felt like a tenderized steak and if my boyfriend came anywhere near me it would throb and not in a good way.

Oh and don’t get me started on the first bowel movement, I thought my uterus was falling out. Talk about uncomfortable. My words of advice is to drink lots of water, take your time and don’t push too hard.

Around the three month postpartum mark I also noticed some hair falling out. When I say some I mean my whole damn scalp. Just kidding .. but no really you lose a lot of hair. I had no idea that could happen because no one talks about it. I had an actual bald spot and trust me I was devastated! A little heads up would of been nice like ‘Your hair will be shiny and healthy then fall out, enjoy!’. The hair loss will last about three months, if you’re lucky. After that your hair will start to grow back but believe me when I say the growing out period is not so cute.

(The hair loss was real)

When it comes to getting your body back in shape it’s a bit different. It can be easy for some and hard for others. Especially when it comes to the idea of “snapping back”. Which to be honest, the whole societal pressure of snapping back really ticks me off. I’m sorry but you have given birth to a child, it’s okay to still be carrying baby weight for a while.

Society is so skewed that it has people thinking you have to go straight from the hospital back into the gym just because Barbara from down the street has a flat tummy after birth. Please give yourself a shake. The titanic pushed its way out of your nether regions or you were cut open (for all those moms who had a c-section) Your body deserves the rest!

My postpartum healing was eventful to say the least. The birth of my daughter was fairly quick, No stitches no rips or anything like that. I was lucky, but the healing process is where I hit a road block. From the day after birth, the postpartum bleeding was heavy handed but my midwives assured me it was normal. Within the first two weeks I started waking up in cold sweats. I was constantly drenched and freezing in the middle of August. The cold sweats lasted probably a good week until they subsided.

Unfortunately it followed with back cramping and even more blood loss. I was confused because reading online by 5-6 weeks blood should be minimal and almost gone. For me it wasn’t the case,it was getting worse.

I was gaining weight on-top of being bloated, swollen and in pain. I was just eating to ease my discomfort. I continued to push through because I never had a baby before and I didn’t know what healing was suppose to feel or look like.

On one evening out I realized the pain I was in was so excruciating that something had to be wrong. I ended up having to go to the walk-in clinic the next day, which they ended up sending me to the hospital. The walk-in clinic doctor believed I might of had some placenta left over and had to go to the emergency right away.

After 12 hours in the damn hospital and a very eager ultrasound technician they discovered it was actually my appendix. My appendix was found on the opposite side of my body probably due to the way it dropped after birth. My appendix was so swollen that it was pushing down and was somehow irritating my uterus causing it to swell and bleed more. Fun stuff I know!

Thankfully it was taken out before it ruptured.

After my appendix was removed the bleeding stopped and everything seemed to be right as rain. It just sucks that my first two months of healing was pretty rough; from birth to surgery.

Once I was all healed, I eventually started to work out little by little. I still refuse to step on a scale because to me it isn’t about how much I weigh anymore. It was about how I feel. I’ve heard from a few women admitting they aren’t ready for kids because they don’t want to ruin their bodies. To me that was upsetting to think someone thinks my body is ruined, I thought the futherest from that. My body was meant to give life, it’s not ruined its upgraded. From the appendix scars , stretch marks on my hips, saggy tits to the loose skin. It may sound unattractive to you but I’m going to wear my mom bod proud and as a badge of honour!

My focus isn’t on snapping back or being a fit mom. It’s about being the best mom possible and being able to keep up with my daughter. If I want to eat half a bag of chips I will and feel no guilt… okay maybe some guilt but being a mom isn’t easy. Postpartum healing isn’t easy, so take your time getting back into shape. Even if you seem to feel fine, birth is still a traumatic experience for your body. Take it from me who has had an eventful time healing, relax and enjoy your baby. By the time they’re crawling and walking you’ll get enough exercise chasing after the little stinkers.

Some things you may also experience:

Hemorrhoids

Postpartum depression and anxiety

Perineum tear

Diastasis recti

Seek medical attention if you notice any pain or discomfort. Postpartum healing is serious business. Listen to your body!

Teething Part 1

So here’s some tea,

Believe me when I say I’m no expert when it comes to teething. I rather give birth again than deal with whole teething phase. I know your reaction to that statement. Every time I say that a mom cringes inside! The birth of my daughter wasn’t horrendous, so teething is high up on the charts of insufferable for me.

On my end it’s not just the sleepless night that are tough but it’s the pain my little one is in. That being said, I should probably inform you that by the time she reached the age of 8 months she already had 8 teeth. Which baffled everyone even myself. Other children her age maybe had one tooth, I was beyond confused. I began looking online finding charts on top of charts, which pointed out different ages in which certain teeth should emerge. Olessia was past that, way past that. Its really true, when it comes to development phases every child is different.

(One of the charts I referred to)

The mornings and nights were both rough, Its sad to say but I questioned my patience as a mother. The late night cluster feedings accompanied with being used as a human pacifier was draining. Eventually she got use to the pain, until her canines started to peek their way through. They have been on their way for a month now… not just one but all four of them, so you could imagine the grumpy child I have on my hands. Therefore if she can find something to bite she will. Not in the sense to be a brat but just to ease the pain. It could a toy, your hair, your chin or her damn crib.

Don’t get me started on breastfeeding a full fledge barracuda. My nipples will never be the same.

For the early stages of teething I found Camilla worked wonders on her fussiness and irritability. Which is a homeopathic remedy for teething symptoms such a restlessness, irritability, runny nose and diarrhea. At almost 11 months now it still helps calm her but not so much with relieving the pain.

I’ve also tried the amber necklace on her but to be honest I’m not a big fan. It’s mostly meant for pain and drooling I believe. I didn’t find it did anything for pain and since her teeth came in so quick there was hardly any drool. So that remedy was a bust.

I’ve tried everything from frozen face cloths to different cold teething toys. The only thing that seemed to do the trick for us was frozen teething toys and ice in munchkins fresh mesh food holders.

Teething is hard on your little stinker. You’re not sure if their runny nose is a cold or the screaming is something you’re doing wrong. Trust me the words “I give up” and a little of baby Tylenol happened a few times.

To think this is only the beginning scares me. I heard the molars are torture. Should I wish for luck or should I prepare for more sleepless nights by becoming a full throttle mombie?

Typical teething symptoms she had:

Fussiness

Runny noise

Pain/crying

Ear pulling

Rubbing mouth

Fever

Diarrhea

Biting

Things that eased her pain:

Camilla

Frozen teethers

Munchkins fresh food feeder

Co-sleeping

So here’s some tea,

The stigma on co-sleeping is saddening. The idea in which a mother makes a decision to sleep with her infant gets so much hate and criticism its disgusting. It’s such a taboo subject that mothers keep it a secret to avoid the judgement or the unsolicited “advice”

“Aren’t you afraid you’re going to roll over into the baby?”

“It’ll be hard to transfer the baby to their own bed later on”

“You’ll ruin your relationship”

“If I were you I wouldn’t want my child in my bed”

Well you know what, no one asked you. I gave birth to this child 7 lbs chunk of love and I will do what I want. We have never once rolled near her and love our little angel close by.

When we brought our daughter Olessia home, we had her in the pack and play set up by the bed. It was close enough so I can watch her breathe (I was beyond paranoid) and easy access to grab her for feeding in the middle of the night

That lasted approximately a month, not because it wasn’t working because it was. It was because I ended up having my appendix removed and getting up wasn’t so easy.

Therefore setting up a spot for her in the middle of us was more convenient.

It could just be me being selfish but as a breastfeeding mom who had a minor surgery less than 5 weeks postpartum, it was easier to whip the boob out and go back to sleep. To this day almost 11 months later she still sleeps with us. Although the set up is a little different. We ended up taking apart the front of her convertible crib and brought it closer to our bed. She sleeps there with no issues whatsoever. Eventually we will move her over to her own bed and in her own room but there isn’t a rush.

A funny thing I found out in a room full of mothers, sleeping routines don’t get brought up quite often. If they do everyone stares around before some admits to co-sleeping or sleep training. One day at our weekly yoga classes, I was talking to a mom and she only admitted to co-sleeping after I did. You could tell she was worried about being judged.

Honey, I’m the last person to judge you. You gave birth to the human do what’s best for you and your child. So before anyone thinks they have a right to comment on your sleeping arrangement with your child. Remember this, they aren’t getting up with your baby at night. Therefore their opinions don’t matter. As for commenting on your relationship….. please (*insert eye roll *) just means you find more creatives ways to spice things up when you and your significant other have your alone time. If you can take anything from my incessant babbling is it’s your child, your business and the judgement is irrelevant.

The chronicles of the human cafeteria

 

So here’s some tea,

Do not for a second think breastfeeding is easy nor a something that comes naturally with motherhood. It is bloody, messy and hard! When I found out I was pregnant, I knew for a fact I was going to breastfeed. I didn’t think that it might not be that easy as just whipping out my boob and the nectar of motherhood would come flowing out … yeah that sounds gross but that’s what I thought. I dealt with cracked bloody nips, engorged breast and even a milk blisters. Milk was flying everywhere, a bit dramatic but seriously it was.

I was depleted but a friend of mine told me to stick it out, it will get better. I don’t know how I did it but I stuck it out. 10 months in and it’s a walk in the park now. I would of kicked myself if I gave up that easily. Don’t get me wrong, I have days with low supply but thank goodness for fenugreek and mothers milk tea! works like a charm.

It takes a lot though, If I didn’t eat enough during the day breastfeeding would feel like she was sucking the life out of me. Seriously I could actually feel my energy draining accompanied by my constantly growling stomach. Not to mention the munchies, I was hungry all the time thankfully breastfeeding helps you burn off some calories. Approximately 300-500 calories a day not bad for having a chilling with your boob out. Breastfeeding is a hard business that not everyone can do but if you can treasure it. There is no better feeling than staring down at your sweaty baby while they’re latched onto you.

If you ever experience …

Engorged breast

• Hot compress while massaging before feeding

• Cold compress after feeding reduce swelling

(It may feel painful but massage those babies out!)

Cracked and bloody nipples

Lansinoh HPA Lanolin nipple cream

Low supply

Mothers Milk Tea

Fenugreek supplements

• Relaxation and no stress!

Milk Blisters

•  Contact a lactation consultant before trying anything. It will lessen the chances of infection.

•  Apply heat, epsom salt soak, rub blister with a wet cloth and try gently picking at the blister.

Breast of luck !