Quarantined with little snack guzzlers

So here’s some tea,

During this global pandemic we have experienced a vast amount of changes that we never thought we’d experience in our lifetime. Being in quarantine not only protects yourself from contracting the virus but others as well. Even though most days me and the girls don’t normally leave the house much but being confined to the house by government regulation feels like a whole other ball game. I understand and my heart goes out to the people who have lost their jobs and the people who have businesses that are in jeopardy due to the closures. Lets not to forget a huge shout out to the frontline workers each one of you are golden Ponyboy!

Now to the parents out there quarantined with kids, I understand your struggle. The lyrics “ bored in the house and I’m in the house bored” clearly doesn’t apply to us. When is the last time you’ve actually been bored? Serious question, it had to of been between the last bottom you’ve wiped or the endless amount of meals you’ve been making. I feel like a cater waiter handing out goldfish and granola bars to these little snack guzzlers. Not to mention the grocery bill skyrocketing… I don’t understand why and how since this child’s only request is chicken fingers and fries.

Meanwhile I know many of you have been going stir crazy trying to find ways to entertain your kids. How many crafts can one kid do until they explode into glitter. Olessia is addicted to crafts and that is my own fault because I’m bit of a craft addict myself. Although if Olessia asks to build another birdhouse all the craft supply might magically disappear!

To regain a bit of sanity we find ourselves outside playing with chalk in the front any chance we can get. Olessia has about 3 boxes of chalk and somehow to breaks every single one of them then proceeds to tell me to fix it.. kid I’m not Harry Potter Accio not happening. Most days playing with chalk results in Olessia judging my artistic skills. In my defence elephants and an octopuses are hard to draw with chalk and I don’t see the little Judge Judy giving it a go. Trust me when I say being in quarantine with a sassy toddlers is less fun when the sass if directed at you. Especially with a teething 8 month old who is a stage five clinger.

Our days in quarantine are busy from sun up to sun down but I wouldn’t have it any other way (sense the mom guilt). Its hard work being in quarantine with kids especially with their built up energy, best believe if anyone who is bored is up to babysit after this quarantine is over come on by… mama needs a break. I really want to give a shout to the parents who have their little humans interrupting work calls, the parents struggling to teach their kids the school curriculum and to the stay at home parents who are familiar with the chaos but are just as tired. We can all relate and we all would love to be bored in the house and in the house bored. Probably reading a book we never got to finish or picking up a new skill/hobby or even snacking without someones grabby fingers asking to “try”.  Instead we are cleaning up toys for the millionth time, breaking up fights between siblings and dealing with the overwhelming frustration kids get with their feelings. We are in this together and hopefully not for much longer. 

if we all abide by the regulations we can hopefully enjoy what will be left of our summer and have an ounce of sanity left over. Until next tea time stay safe and stay home! xoxo

I’m back … with a little update!

So here’s some tea,

It’s been well over a year and a half since I’ve last written a blog post. A lot has happened to say the least, everything from heartache, to moving homes and to a new birth just to name a few. August of 2019 I welcomed a new addition to the girl band, my newest daughter Penelope. She was a blessing through harder times. Olessia, my eldest daughter who had just turned two at the time, was thrilled to have a baby sister. Since then I’ve been quite busy handling two littles one.

Teething, potty training and sleep training oh my … the trials and tribulations of motherhood. So prepare for a weekly blog from yours truly on the adventures of this girl gang. I hope you can get a few laughs especially through these times of uncertainty. I have a few posts I can’t wait to share with you and I’d love to hear some suggestions on topics that would interest you guys. I’m glad to be back and that is all folks!

 

Finding William … questions unanswered.

So here’s some tea,

People who have impacted your life never truly leave you. My grandfather was that person, Mr William C. Lockhart also known as Papa Billy. I may not have him here with me anymore but his memory always lingers. It’s been about 5 years since he has passed away but recently I’ve been having dreams about him. You know I always got to clarify with you before you continue reading. This isn’t a post of me breaking down and interrupting the dream because to be honest there was nothing shock worthy about it. He sat across from me at his kitchen table wearing his favourite turquoise t shirt with a grin on his face while we shared some wafers cookies. I don’t recall what we talked about or for how long but it felt good; it felt like home. I can’t put into words how nice it was to hear his voice and his sarcastic humour. Oh how I miss it so much…. It was the best dream and one of the most incredible sleeps I have had in a while.

For the past few days all I could think about was how I knew so much about him but nothing at the same time. I knew his likes and dislikes, funny army stories and that fact his sister sent him a birthday card every year which somehow always pissed him off. He was a man that was content with solitude, so when my brothers and I came along we brought a little chaos to his life. We worn him down and eventually he couldn’t get enough of us. Not to mention he was the smartest man I knew and he didn’t even finish school. Its crazy how the older generation had this wisdom and knowledge about them.. probably because they actually lived, read books and newspapers instead of being consumed by technology.

I got a bit side tracked there but I could list the things I knew about him but there are so many questions I wish I asked….

How did your first wife Gloria die? What was she like?

Why did you hate your father so much?

Where did the distinct ring come from?

Were you a Freemason? What does that even mean?

When did your parents come over from Scotland?

What made your goulash taste so good?

Why didn’t you have any kids? (my mom is his step kid second marriage)

Tell me about your childhood!

All the things I wish I knew…

I searched and searched to maybe find something I never knew before. It’s not as easy researching about a man born in 1925.

Have you ever felt that way? Not getting the chance to find more about a loved one before it was too late.

My mom and I are working on her childhood stories, therefore when Olessia and any other future grandchildren are older they will never have to wonder the answers to their questions.

The searching and wondering about him doesn’t take away from my memory of him. I will always remember his sweet way of kicking us out his house. He would sing ‘Hit the road Jack’ by Ray Charles, which always made us laugh but it was his way of telling us to get lost.

He was a special kind of something. As you can tell I like to write, so I actually started a bunch of little kiddie stories mainly for my daughter and my future nieces and nephews so they can hear stories of our Papa Billy…. it’s a great way to keep his memory alive. I still have unanswered questions but I guess that’s life.

Have you ever had questions about a loved one? Did you go looking? I’d love to know.

Food for thought… working mom? stay at home mom?

So here’s some tea,

A lot of women are tore between a career and motherhood. Society makes us feel like we can’t have it both ways. I know very successful women who have children and are striving in the professional world. It is hard to put a price on missing moments though. As a SAHM ( stay at home mom) right now considering heading back into the workforce thats my biggest hurdle; missing moments with my daughter. Which I know is silly but as a mom you are constantly in your head wondering how and if your decisions are benefiting your children’s life in a positive way.

Eventually I will go back to work, not because I feel like I have to but because once my daughter is in school there is nothing keeping me behind the walls of our family home. I have a degree and to be honest it would be nice to put it to some use. In addition I’ve spoken to many moms and they want their freedom. Hold up; it’s not in a bad way but they want the financial freedom to go out shopping and not worrying about the impending mortgage or bills. The freedom to create something all their own. Motherhood is hard enough but we do lose ourselves. I’ve been trying to stay consistent with my blog but as first time mom of a toddler, its draining.

I want to have an answer for people who ask me “what do I like to do other than being a mom?”

… I’m loss for words

Well I do like writing and I’m teaching myself to sew but it never feels like enough. I have so many ideas in my head that I am my own road block when it comes to achieving them.

I’m a creative person; I like to brainstorm, research and create but what should I create? Where do I start?

I want my daughter to be proud of her mother. I want her to know when it’s her time for her own family that she can have it both ways. No matter if it’s creating something all her own or trailblazer in the business world.

Some women are drawn to their callings in life, May that be a career or a SAHM but never feel like you have to limit yourself to either category. There is a million of subcategories that you can venture into and there is nothing wrong with wanting more for your family. It’s just food for thought. Women are remarkable, our plates may be full but we always go for seconds.

We are the future …

Dear Mr. Sandman…

So here’s some tea,

A few months ago I created a few little rhyming stories to read to Olessia. This one seems to be her favourite and I thought I’d share 🙂

Dear Mr Sandman,

I’m all ready for bed

I’ve thrown on some pjs

you know the ones with the sleds

Daddy gave me a kiss and tucked me in tight

To prepare me for dreamland when he turns off the light

When I close my eyes what will I see?

Maybe some dragons or pirates or thieves

Or even some pandas playing in leaves

Oh the possibilities if you only just believe

So Mr Sandman can you bring me a dream?

Bring me the craziest that I’ve ever seen

talking dinosaurs?

flying pigs?

or fairy princesses in crowns made of twigs

If I don’t say thank you before I fall to sleep

I’ll meet you in dreamland by the cotton candy sheep …

Love Mommy & Olessia

Xoxo

Our birth story

So here’s some tea,

Our birth story

Funny thing I never thought to write about it because it was so fast that no one would want to hear about it. I’m not saying that in the form of bragging because if you’ve gone through childbirth you know what I mean, it’s just this story is not a chair gripping tale.

My due date was the 12th of August 2017, I already knew she wasn’t going to stay in there until then, let’s just say mothers intuition. I tried several natural ways to help the process along which means a lot of sex, red raspberry leaf tea, squats and evening primrose.

By the evening of August 7th, I was a miserable mess and my back was on fire. I was so uncomfortable that I didn’t even have the strength to walk down the street to meet my boyfriend at our friends house.

So when midnight hit I noticed that I was having irregular contractions (they didn’t hurt at this point) and we ended up meeting my Midwife at the hospital.

Unfortunately due to the irregularities in the contractions and the fact that of only being 1cm, we were sent back home. The rest of the night/early morning I was in and out of the bath tub. Being in the bath tub helped the piercing back pain; I could of stayed in there all night to be honest I didn’t want to leave.

By 8 am I headed back to the washroom this time to relieve myself (thank goodness, I didn’t want to poop giving birth) as I was wiping I noticed my mucus plug ended up coming out as well. Perfffecttttt! I knew that meant labour is starting and it’s about to get real. In a matter of moments while walking back from the washroom my water broke. Yellowy liquid everywhere … strange I always thought it was clear but little did I know that meant something else.

I ended up waking my boyfriend up and said my water broke!

“so is it time?” He unenthusiastically grunted. To be honest I thought I would just a more dramatic movie scene reaction of a father to be in panic… nope. Better luck next time!

I told him I had to call my Midwife so that’s exactly what I did. I called my midwife and she was a little saucy too to be honest. You can only imagine how unimpressed I am at this point. Due to the colour of my water (which was light yellow) she was convinced I peed myself.

*Eye roll* like I just came from the washroom and plus I’d know if I peed, this was a different kind of release of pressure. Whatever, my contractions were also close enough that she agreed to meet at the hospital.

At 9:30 am we were walking in the hospital and trust me I looked like Quasimodo from the hunchback of Notre Dame walking through the lobby but I refused any and all wheelchairs. Everyone looking at me concerned but.. I knew walking would help labour, so I’ll walk to that damn delivery room even if I was shrieking in pain.

Once I was in the room they discovered the reason why my water was yellow. Not because I peed myself but because Olessia had pooped in the womb. A Paediatrician was on call but no one let me think I should worry. Therefore I wasn’t worried just in pain at this point. It all happened so fast that even thought of an epidural was out of the question. I arrived at the hospital at 4 cm went to 7cm in a half and hour and 10cm not too long after.

Time to get that baby out!!!

My boyfriend was holding my legs with a full view of my crotch (poor guy) and my mom was holding my neck (bad work injury screwed up my neck). I kept saying “I can’t do this, I can’t do this” … but my boyfriend kept reassuring me I could.

At some point I had to use leg stirrups to help me but Olessia was stuck between a flap of skin (I don’t know what it’s called) but instead of cutting me another on call midwife came in the room to assist. She had a trick by wiggling Olessia out, by swaying me back and forth while another tried to push aside the skin. It worked! Once her head was passed that point she slide out like butter (sorry for the visual)

This all happened within 7 minutes. 7 minutes of pushing and our little angel was born. I remember my Midwife asked me if I wanted to feel her hair while she was coming out and I look back now and I wish I did but at the time I’m like no I’m good let’s get her out!

After the Midwife and Paediatrician cleared her and made sure there was no poop in her lung she was all ours. I made my boyfriend do skin to skin right away while I delivered the placenta. The Midwife was so amazed of how healthy my placenta was. We thought it was strange because we had no idea of how amazing it actually was. Another thing I wish I did was make pills out of my placenta. May sound gross to some but it has so many benefits as well as it could of helped with a faster recovery.

By the time I got to the hospital at 9:30am to the 12:55pm on August 8th when she was born, was the most pain I’ve ever been in. Unmedicated, raw and fast are three ways to describe my first experience of childbirth. I didn’t realize how strong I was until I gave birth.

If you ask me would I do it all again, I would in a heartbeat and unmedicated too!

What are three words to describe your childbirth experience?!

Shout out to the mamas

Shout out to the mamas:

Who are exhausted

Who need a break

Who stay at home

Who work full time

Who try to do it all

Who get overwhelmed

Who are fighting postpartum depression

Who are trying to find themselves again

Who are single mothers

Who are co-parenting

Who are trying not avoid the mommy shame

Who fail at times

Who have lost all patience

Who are fighting to lose the baby weight

Who are fighting to gain weight

Who are breastfeeding

Who are bottle feeding

Who are struggling

Who have broken down a few times

Who are in need of a girls night out

Who are dying for a good nights sleep

Who are looking for some compassion

Who are looking for some help

Who are just looking for someone to say you’re doing a good job…..

No matter what kind of mama you are, you are appreciated and loved. We love our little ones but that doesn’t mean some days aren’t harder than others. The past few weeks I’ve been having a hard time when it comes to patience. Teething on top of what I can only refer to as ‘the terrible ones?’ (I don’t even know if that’s a thing) but the tantrums are real.

I can admit this mama is exhausted, believe me when I say if you are too you’re not alone we have all been there and it’s a sign you need a break. An hour to yourself just to regain some sanity and focus. I’m thinking about jumping back into yoga, one class a week so mama can unwind, destress and be a better and less tense mama in the long run!

If you’re one of these mamas? Have you taken time to yourself? What do you do?!

Friendships after baby …

So here’s some tea,

Friendships just like relationships go through their bumps and hurdles. One bump in particular is a baby bump. Once you start having babies your friendships change. Especially if your friends aren’t at the baby point in life yet. Which there isn’t anything wrong with that, it’s not for everyone. Plus everyone has their own path and journey in life.

I, myself have never been a big partier. I would make excuses out of going out. Let’s just put it out there once again, I’m a HUGE introvert. So when I announced I was pregnant nothing changed but people’s expectations of me. People thought I should soak up my last moments before I transitioned into motherhood. I thought otherwise, I was constantly sick with my daughter so going out was hard for me. When I say sick I don’t mean one or two times. I mean three or four times a day coming out of my nose type of sick. I was constantly bailing on my friends and I felt that it made an impact on my friendships. Only until I posted a picture people finally saw how frail I was due to the morning sickness and I wasn’t milking it.

Although I was lucky enough to be pregnant around the same time as two of my friends. Therefore as my pregnancy progress they became my “go to” people I texted everyday because they understood. I didn’t feel so alone with them any ache or pain they understood and didn’t judge nor think I was complaining. Not like my other friends thought I was complaining but let’s be real no one really wants to hear that your back is throbbing everyday or your glucose test took forever.

It was eye opening though to see people’s reactions and behaviours after the birth of my daughter. It takes events in life to realize who is there for you and who isn’t. I have a few friends who still haven’t met my daughter or only seen her once. Not because of geography just because they have their own stuff going on. Which no shade or anything like that, I understand but It does hurt a bit.

One thing many people without children don’t realize is late night events aren’t easy for us. I would never say make plans around people with children because that’s ridiculous but don’t get upset if one of us or neither can attend because we have a child. I’m sorry, my daughter still relies on me for bed time plus I don’t expect someone to watch her so I can go out. Maybe when she’s older it’ll be different but not right now.

The dynamic of relationships on any level change when you enter a new phase in your life. As you see the one that took the most hits was my friendships. You learn to accept your relationships for what they are and move forward. I’m still not about to go out drinking or partying anymore but I’m okay with that. My life has steered in a new direction and I’m happy. I appreciate the friends who have stuck by me, who love my daughter like their own, who are abroad but close to our hearts and my new mommy friends.

This wasn’t to throw shade; this was more to shine light that being a mom is hard work and sometimes friendships can be affected by that too.

Mom Fail Fridays – Mombie life

So here’s some tea,

As summer is ending; here comes autumn. It has to be my favourite time of the year. Everything starts to cool off with orange and red accents everywhere. Yes I’m basic but hand me a pumpkin spiced anything and I’m a happy girl. With my little one old enough to enjoy fall activities I’m beyond excited.

What will her costume be? What should I be for Halloween? Maybe a zombie? Because that’s how I’m feeling nowadays. Today’s version of mom fail friday is two “mombie” fails.

Mine – 1 little girl

My little one recently has been very restless in the middle of the night. Thank you teething… *eye roll*

So the other night around 3 am, her restlessness woke me up. I was half asleep, I touched her butt and it was wet. I didn’t even look at my hand I just wipe it on my shirt then proceeded to change her diaper. In my groggy state I looked down at my shirt …. poop. Seriously! Once I changed her and got her back to sleep, I went toss her diaper in the genie. Somehow someway my hand met poop once again. Ughhhhh clearly I need to toss my glasses on when it comes to diaper changes at night.

A friend of mines story – 2 little girls

“My little one woke up at 6 am. Typically I give her a bottle and she goes back to sleep . I try not to turn on a a lot of lights otherwise she’ll be up for good … I poured her milk into the bottle from her thermos . Everything was perfect ! I put her to lay down and gave her the bottle like every other night/ morning …..

Buuuut realized super quickly that my little one was soaked ! This mama was so tired and I forgot to put the stupid lid on the bottle . I knew right then and there this wasn’t going to go well.

The funniest thing was her response . I had to walk away to go get another bottle and clothes & whatnot . Usually she cries but she just looked at me like what in the entire fuck just happened ?!?! Even when I was changing her , she was looking deep into my soul like “ mom , get your shit together “

Have you ever been half asleep and had a mom fail?!

xo

Mom Fail Fridays – baby proofing

So here’s some tea,

It’s mom fail Friday and a recent fail of mine is baby proofing. By baby proofing I mean I haven’t…. at all. Well we do have the plug covers on and the gate for the stairs. So technically we have the most important things done. Although I underestimated my daughter and where her stinky little fingers will go.

Some women during their nesting phase of pregnancy will start their baby proofing then. Which you may be thinking ‘hey slow down the baby isn’t even here yet’. Those are the women that are thinking ahead! Once the baby arrives you’ll be too tired and consumed with motherhood to even think about it. Which you’ll inevitably forget until you notice your baby on the move. Clearly I’m on the forgetting end of that spectrum. You are technically suppose to start between the ages of 6-10 months due to the fact they’ll be crawling and getting into things. My little one is now 12 months old and has became a tornado. If you leave the lid up in the bathroom all the toilet rolls end up in there and all the clothes will somehow magically appear on on the floor.

Luckily Olessia mainly likes to just remove things from drawers and has only shut it on her fingers gently a few times. Which means I need to take charge before she really hurts herself. Due to where we live now there isn’t a lot of trouble she can get into but I have to cover the basics

Baby proofing

Bathroom

⁃ Toilet lid

⁃ Cabinet

⁃ Toilet roll

⁃ Slip pads in the tub

⁃ Drain cover

Kitchen

⁃ Cabinets

Bedroom

⁃ Dresser cabinets

⁃ Bed rails

Miscellaneous

⁃ Stair gates

⁃ Plug covers

⁃ Door knobs

⁃ Locks

⁃ Cords

⁃ Sharp edges

Honestly baby proofing is a headache and something I’m not very good at. Thinking about places your baby can possibly hurt themselves will have you using the twisted and creative side of your brain. Seriously you hurt herself by dropping a toy on her face …. I guess we never grow out of that. I know what you’re thinking you’ve dropped your phone of your face plenty of times too, Haven’t we all! For the safety of my child though I will baby proof everything if need be but I think I’ll have better luck just covering her in bubble wrap.

Xo